Stepping out from my second shower of the day I wrap a large white bath sheet around my body and wonder if I will ever feel human again.
These last two days of continuous work have really taken it out of me.
My entire body is crying out from sitting hunched over my drawing board, my fingers ache from holding pencils and I have a head ache that a hundred aspirin wouldn't shift.
Turning off the bathroom light I move through my darkened apartment and end up in my bedroom, sitting on the side of my pink and cream duvet cover.
I turn on the elegant cream lamp that sits on my pine, bedside table and catch sight of myself in my full length pine-framed mirror.
Living alone isn't easy at times like this, times when you just want to come home to somebody you know will listen and never judge. To have somebody that will just wrap his arms around you and without saying a word make you feel like everything will be okay
...I had him
...I miss him
Berating myself for being pathetic I begin to pat my hair dry before loneliness and tiredness force me to drop the towel and pick up the receiver.
Moving unconsciously through my contacts I don't even stop long enough to try and talk myself out of it. There's only one person that can make me feel better tonight and whether I know him anymore or not, I know that he's the only one who will ever know me... the real me.
As the dialling tone rings in my ear I find my heart racing in anticipation of hearing his voice
And as the dialling tone continues I find a fear creeping into my heart that he might not be going to answer. It is 9oclock on a Saturday night, which would make it... what time in Toronto?
Maybe he's out, maybe he has a date... maybe he's 'hanging out' with Hailey
"This is Travis Kelce"
The warmth from his voice burns through the phone wire and causes my cheeks to glow pink, unfortunately, that warmth is what I've been missing and longing for and it causes my tough New York façade to crumble and tears are now spilling down my face
"Hello?"
Speak Taylor, speak before he hangs up. Stop crying you wimp and just speak
Breathing deeply and wiping my eyes with the back of my hand I steady myself before speaking
"Hi Trav, it's Taylor"
Wow- way to knock him off his feet!
"Hi Tay, are you okay?"
Just a few words and he's already reading me, just like he always did.
I lift my legs up onto the bed and tuck my damp hair behind my ear. I can hear the sound of him breathing down the line and I'm surprised by how safe that sound makes me feel
"I'm fine"
"Have you been crying?"
Am I so obvious?!
