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eighteen

Y/n's eyes blew wide open, heart pounding in her chest.

Was it that obvious?

Should she even tell him, since they live together? Would he keep her secret? As if reading her mind, he spoke again. "There's my answer." He chuckled.

"I..."

"Don't worry. I won't tell him. Not anyone." He made a gesture of zipping his lips closed.

Y/n sighed in defeat. Was she really that bad at hiding it? It wasn't even a big deal, just a small crush and yet he could read her like a book. After a couple beats of silence, y/n spoke while keeping her eyes trained on the floor. "It's just a small crush... and it started growing only recently."

"Really? What was the turning point? ...Was it what you were going to say before?"

Y/n bit her cheek, face flushing and she quickly cast a glance at the slightly open door to make sure no one was there. It was embarrassing to admit this. "I was crying... and he comforted me."

"Really?" Akiteru grinned. "How so?"

She dropped her head on her knees. "Don't make me say all the details. I'm embarrassed."

"It's good to talk it out."

She looked back up at him, a mischievous smile on his face. "Absolutely not."

"Okay, you don't have to tell me." The hint of mischief dropped in his smile, replaced by a more genuine one. "Kei, he... what could he be thinking?" He looked up at the empty wall, lost in thought.

"Don't you dare ask him." She said weakly, because a little part of her did want to know the same thing.

"I know, I know."

She mindlessly looked off to the side, both of them sitting in silence and nothing could be heard but the sound the wall clock ticking.

"Argh." He buried both of his hands in his hair. "I don't know. He doesn't really open up to me, not to anyone, really. I have no idea what's going on in that head of his." Y/n hummed, already appreciative of the fact that Akiteru was trying to help. "But." He spoke. "I'll make sure to get it into his tiny little brain that aside from Tadashi, you're someone he shouldn't let go of."

She smiled, blushing at his words.

Akiteru continued. "When did you start noticing him becoming distant?"

Y/n's head lolled back so she was staring at the ceiling, thinking long and hard about when Tsukishima had changed. Eventually, she couldn't reach any sort of conclusion, and her head was starting to hurt from all the mind racing. It was hard to tell, thanks to the fact they had become distant during the period of time y/n stopped coming over to his house. "I really don't know. My brain's all mixed up."

He frowned. "Are you sure you don't want me to ask him anything about it?"

She felt bad, pushing all of her troubles onto Akiteru. Having him ask in place of her felt childish but what would she even ask Tsukishima? She shook her head. "No." Did she decline because she didn't want to trouble Akiteru, or was it simply due to her fear of rejection? She didn't know, and spending anymore time thinking about it wouldn't help. "You don't have to do all that. I should ask him myself."

If I can gather the courage to do so.

"Okay." He gave a sympathetic smile. "I wish I could help but I'd probably be the last person that he'd confide his troubles in. I'm rooting for you, nevertheless."

"Rooting?"

"Don't think about it too much." He winked.

Y/n's face flushed at his sudden declaration, taking his word and not thinking too hard about whatever that meant.

Following that day, y/n decided to keep a watchful eye on the four eyes. Just as she'd expected, his behavior was strange. Just like before, he was definitely avoiding her. However, she wondered if her eyes were playing tricks on her.

Thanks to a newly-found hyperawareness of his actions and presence... it didn't go unnoticed (at least to her) whenever he reached out a hand, almost as if he was about to ruffle her hair or flick her forehead but ended up quickly retracting it. 

Almost like he was trying to stop himself.

But why? Was she gross or something? She had lifted her arm slightly and sniffed her armpit... nothing really but the scent of deodorant permeating her nostrils.

No. That wasn't it. Rather than disgust... he looked more cautious than anything. But what could possibly be the reason for it, especially when he had no issue with it before?

More days passed.

It was safe to say that it wasn't like Tsukishima was trying to rid of her from his life. He still invited y/n to eat lunch with him and his freckled friend during school and Tsukishima had raised no objection to her coming over to his house, at least not verbally.

If anything... he did say before that she was always welcome to his home. It doesn't make sense to think he'd want to get rid of her suddenly.

As the days progressed, y/n found herself straying even further from her goal of actually confronting him. She even considered just not asking him about it and letting them be distant like this forever. But deep down in her heart, she didn't want that at all.

At the moment, y/n was sitting on the couch with Tsukishima. Like always, he was sat on the other end of the couch with one arm on the arm rest. His attention was directed towards the tv, and y/n mindlessly stared at it as well, barely paying attention to it.

She cast a glance through her peripheral view, and y/n watched the blondie's face for a few seconds, unable to hold back a quiet giggle when she noticed how focused he was on the movie— his brows furrowed and mouth slightly agape. However, he managed to hear the laugh and turned towards her, straightening his expression again. "What are you laughing at?"

"Is it that interesting? The movie."

Tsukishima scoffed and rolled his eyes, direction his attention back toward the tv. "You're not even watching so just go."

She grew offended by his snarky reply, and responded immediately. "No." What she said next slipped out of her mouth before she could even think. Was it due to her pride, wanting to be noticed by the boy next to her, or just sheer anger? Perhaps all three? "...you jerk. All you've done these past few days is shoo me away like I'm bothersome or something. You're the one who said-

She stopped before finishing the sentence.

You're the one who said I was welcome here anytime.

Y/n could feel tears forming, and her lips started to quiver. She cursed herself for being so emotional at the worst times. Before the blond could notice, she hugged her knees up to her chest and lowered her head, hiding her face. It was futile though, because he was already faced towards her.

"I'm the one who said what?" He spoke.

She only kept her face buried between her knees, not wanting to finish her sentence. She already embarrassed herself enough. She had wished she could go back in time and not let her stupid mouth run. Now they were just sitting in awkward silence and the tension was suffocating her. She had regretted it all, until she heard the sound of Tsukishima scooching, followed by a warm hand placed against her back.