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nineteen

Tsukishima had reacted before he could even spare a second thought towards his actions. Next thing he knew, he was across the couch with a palm laid against y/n's back. He was about to remove his hand, but noticed y/n's shaky breath come to a halt. Knowing he was going to regret it later, he carefully started to rub her back in small circles, the touch so delicate that the girl started to question whether his hand was even moving at all.

Nonetheless, it didn't take long before it registered in y/n's mind that yes, yes he was rubbing her back, trying to comfort her. She was so happy at the contact that she could spring up into his arms because he had finally, finally stopped ignoring her. She wasn't going to do that though, because the gesture would have been a little too much considering their current circumstances. If anything, all she could focus on was the fast beating of her heart and the heat of his palm that contrarily sent chills down her spine. She was so caught up in the moment that she had nearly forgotten that he even asked her a question.

"I'm the one that said what?"

While y/n fought internally with herself, an extended moment of silence passed. "...you douchebag." She mumbled. "You don't even remember what you said? Did you even mean it?" She knew she was adding fuel to the fire, but she couldn't hold back what she'd been going through these past few weeks anymore. She shut her eyes and mentally braced herself, waiting for the four eyes' reply.

However, Tsukishima only kept rubbing slow, soft circles against her back. He let out a sigh and adjusted himself to sit with his back against the couch, hand not moving away from her back. "Are you talking about when I said you're welcome here anytime? Of course I meant that." Another moment of silence passed with nothing but the sound of the tv playing.

"Fine. Then why are you acting so cold to me?" She could feel the rubbing motion on her back come to a stop, but his hand remained splayed there. "I just thought we had gotten closer, was all."

This was it. This was the perfect opportunity for him to disagree so they could finally stop acting like they were more than friends. Tsukishima knew perfectly well that y/n was dating Toru Oikawa and here he was, overstepping boundaries and acting like they were a couple at times and feeling stupid for thinking that y/n would think the same when in reality, there was no chance-- no choice in the first place. He had rehearsed his reply to this sort of confrontation several times.

Now was the perfect opportunity. It was finally time to sever this unrealistic ideal he had guarded for far too long.

We aren't that close.

Haven't I always acted cold towards you?

Say it and get it over with.

Nothing's changed between us from the start.

He removed his hand from her back which in turn caused her to look up at him, and when they finally locked eyes, his resolve came crashing down on him.

No, that's not true.

"...I'm sorry." He said.

Y/n's eyes widened and she sat up, the few tears that had fell down before were coming to a stop. After all the negative thoughts, she hadn't expected an apology. Even after she lashed out on him a few seconds ago, he apologized.

He moved his gaze to the tv but continued speaking, as if he was deliberately avoiding eye contact. "I didn't realize it was affecting you this much." He paused. "You... I know you're in a relationship so I tried to maintain some space between us."

Y/n's brows furrowed in confusion. But before she could interject, he kept talking.

"I... of course want to remain friends but would it really work? Does your boyfriend even know that you come here basically everyday?" He sighed and rubbed his temple.

She watched Tsukishima struggle to get his words out, but most importantly-- his expression. Although he wasn't looking at her, she could see from his side profile the way he had looked distressed, confused, and worried all at once.

"What if he was upset over you and I hanging out all the time? So I figured it was best to just keep some distance between us."

Y/n couldn't believe her ears. This was the cause of it all? Weeks of being ignored and hurt because of a misunderstanding? She felt upset by it but also could laugh at the simple mix-up. How did he even know about her past relationship? "Why didn't you just ask me about how I felt?"

Tsukishima shrugged. "You didn't bring it up, so why would I ask?"

Y/n didn't know whether she felt frustration or happiness due to the finding out that the four eyes' could be so considerate. Probably both.

"How did you know that I was in a relationship?"

He finally turned his head back to her, but he had a look of confusion plastered across his face. "Was?"

Y/n nodded. "That's why I said you should've asked."

He let out an exaggerated breath of relief, like he'd been holding it back for far too long. It almost made her skeptical. "Well, I did see him tugging you away on the day of our tournament. And Yamaguchi told me that he saw you guys hugging."

She had completely forgotten about Yamaguchi witnessing that whole ordeal. It all made sense now. "I'm sorry. I should've cleared it up."

"I'm sorry too." He said.

Y/n smiled softly to herself. She knew she couldn't be mad at him because all he was trying to do was protect their friendship, and it warmed her heart to find out that Tsukishima was secretly so accommodating (in whatever strange way that may have been). "Don't be sorry. You were only trying to be considerate." She caught a glimpse of his red ears but because she hadn't seen the sight in a while, it made her heart race and she cleared her throat before her mind strayed elsewhere. "Well... we're okay now, right? No need to be so weird and distant."

Tsukishima nodded, slowly reaching a hand to flick her forehead. "Yes, we were always okay. It was just a misunderstanding, wasn't it?"

Y/n welcomely invited the feeling of the sting that followed the forehead flick from the blondie. The flick this time was harsh though, and she wondered if it was intentional, like his way of expressing the stress he had been put through these past few weeks. If it was, she knew she deserved it and only laughed after yelping painfully.

He laughed as well, and y/n grew weak at the sight, not realizing how much she had missed it. She couldn't hold back the urge to watch him giddily, but not long before his laugh died down as well and he returned her gaze with his own cheeks reddening slightly. As they held eye contact, y/n's heart pounded loudly in her chest and she was afraid she might do something dangerous if they didn't move. She watched as the other's gaze moved to her forehead.

"Sorry. That was a pretty hard flick." Tsukishima placed a hand against the back of the couch, and outstretched his other hand towards her forehead. He placed his thumb on top of the aching spot on her forehead and rubbed it ever so slightly. The rest of his hand blocked her vision in the process. The cool temperature of his hand was a contrast to the feverish burning of her own skin and she fought her innermost being to not close her eyes and lean into the touch. A couple of moments later, he removed his thumb, just holding the side of her face with four fingers instead.

The gesture caught y/n off guard, and for a few seconds, she couldn't hear anything but the sound of her heart beating, the feeling of Tsukishima's hand holding her face, and the gaze they shared that didn't feel awkward, but intimate.

"We're home!"

Tsukishima quickly retracted his hand back to his lap and faced towards the tv. Y/n watched him with a dumbstruck look on her face, and then turned the other way to meet eyes with his mom and brother.