Desperate Measures

A Normal Life

That evening...

I was slowly starting to come around as I could kinda feel something in my throat and someone waving a flashlight pen in my eyes. "Josh hi you're just coming out of the sedation, the breathing tube is still in your throat but I got it all out. You're okay just follow the light with your eyes." That's great that she got it all but why is the tube still in my mouth? I nodded following the pen light as I looked around the room as I saw Matt asleep in a chair. "He's been asleep for about an hour. Did you want me to wake him?" I shook my head as he did need his sleep pretty badly. When Meredith stepped away to fill out something I saw Amanda lurking outside the room as she looked over at me as I just looked away as I could hardly move without my whole body hurting. "Want me to send her away? I could hear that fight from down the hallway earlier." I shook my head as I was starting to cough a bit as she started to take the tube out of my throat.

"Ow...thanks." I said with a very raspy voice as she handed me a cup of water as I sipped it as Amanda slowly walked in. "I um heard it went well. I can go if you want me to." She said as she looked like she was crying as I patted a spot next to my bed as I do feel bad for yelling at her and calling her a slut basically. She walked over sitting on the bed as I held her hand in mine. "Amanda I'm so sorry for what I said. I was pissed and I took it...out on you. I didn't mean to basically call you a slut but you gotta tell me these things love. I can't read your mind, and if you tell me what's on your mind then we can try to...find solutions." I said as my voice kept giving out from the tube just being removed a minute ago. "I'm sorry as well...I was drunk that night and I should've just stopped before I went further with him. And you don't have to handle all of these things alone Josh, I'm here for you okay? I love you." She said as she kissed my cheek as I had no idea what to feel due to being on pain meds and just waking up a moment ago.

"I um...need some time to think and process things okay? And I know I'm not alone I've got you and Matt and the guys. It just feels like it somedays." I said trying to sit up a bit more in the bed but couldn't as everything was just sore. "Hey Josh don't try to sit up yet. Let your body rest up a bit and did you need some more pain meds?" I nodded as Mer went to go get some pain medicine while Amanda kept holding my hand as yeah everything was hurting so fucking badly. "That's fine Josh take all the time you need and just breathe okay. She'll be back in a minute." I nodded holding her hand back as a nurse placed a breathing mask over my mouth so I could breath better I'm guessing.

A moment later she came back as I could feel the cold medicine go through my veins as the pain was slowly lightening up which started to make me feel pretty sleepy. "Okay Josh I'm gonna go but get some rest okay?" I nodded slightly as she took off the oxygen mask kissing me as I just didn't have the heart to push her away, so I kissed her back but I just felt so guilty about it. She pulled away putting the mask back on and walking out of the room as Matt just had his mouth hanging open. "Dude did she just?" I nodded looking over at him all tired as he patted my head. "You'll figure this out and get some sleep you look like hell." I laughed a little and rolled my eyes as yeah I did end up falling asleep from the morphine.

-

The next morning. Matt's POV

I woke up hearing something beeping as I woke up it was just his iv line saying his fluids ran out. I sat up stretching a little bit and yawning as he was still fast asleep. "Hey how is he?" I said to Meredith while she was replacing his fluid bags as she smiled. "He's doing good. Once he's awake we'll start him on his treatment okay? Now this will be hard on his body Matt." She said pulling up a chair infront of me as she grabbed her tablet. "Now he might have some energy back but this is a really rough chemo mix we have him on. Now he will be nauseous, and basically everything he's been like so far but worse. So just to let you know okay?" I nodded smiling a little standing up.