Desperate Measures

this is me trying

Day Two of Tour- Matt's POV

After waking up in the morning and doing my morning jog around Hamilton before getting back to the venue to meet up with the rest of the guys. Once I grabbed a coffee from the shop down the block and a muffin and back to the bus. Josh was laying on the couch in the front lounge in some sort of depression state. "Hey finally you're back, he's been like this since he got up about an hour ago. I was hoping you could speak to him since well he listens to you." Ian said to me as I sighed placing the coffee down on the table kneeling down next to Josh. "Josh hey what's going on?" I said as he didn't even look at me which was shocking. "Josh? You okay?" I said a little bit louder placing my hand on his shoulder as he finally decided to snap out of his mind as he looked pretty confused. 

"Who died now?" He said with a pretty depressing tone sitting up as I don't know why he's thinking that someone else died. "No one's dead? Okay what's going on inside that brain of yours?" I said as he looked into my eyes shaking his head. "Trust me you don't want to know what's going on. Now why'd you pull me out of my fucking mind?" God is he ever in a depressed ass mood. "Because you've gotta start warming up okay? Look I know you're going through hell right now but you've gotta get out of that darkness of yours." He just sighed pushing his bangs up and walking to the back of the bus grabbing his day bag and walking out of the bus. "Fine just leave me alone." He said while closing the door and walking away. "Well at least you got him out of his mind for now. I feel so bad for basically forcing him on this tour." Ian said as I sat down at the table sipping the coffee. 

"I know how he feels so badly cause of what I went through last year with Nicole. Trust me I also feel bad for the label practically forcing him to stay on the tour but we need the money so I understand why." Ian sat across from me smiling a little. "I don't think you two ever told us what happened besides you being in a mental facility for a month." Right...we didn't tell them what happened and the suicide attempt. "Um well let me tell you what happened." I said turning to face Ian as I took a deep breath as it was still pretty hard to speak about. "Don't worry you don't have to if you don't want to." I shook my head as I did need to fill them in about what happened. 

"No, I'll tell you what happened. I was um dating this woman Nicole Arbour and um she was very abusive to the point she wanted me to wipe all the contacts besides my mother off my phone as she was worried about me trying to cheat on her or something like that. The day that I ran into Josh at the hospital she saw me speaking to him and she knew that we dated so she threatened me after we spoke that if I didn't cut him off, she would hurt me and my family so I tried to break it off with her so she hurt me. Then after speaking to Josh in his room and her catching me again and once I got home she beat me cause I spoke to my fucking best friend so I snuck out and ran to Josh's place. We were trying to come up with idea's to help me leave her but we couldn't come up with anything and after he went to sleep I just couldn't bare putting him, Amanda, and my family through this so I tried to um take my life." I said as Ian looked so damn shocked that I got that low. 

"Wow I didn't know it was that bad." I smiled a little taking another sip of coffee. "Yeah I didn't realize I could get that low either. But I did manage to find some of Josh's pain killers from when he got out of the hospital from that crash and I took three and locked the bathroom door and he must've had a spare key and I could hear him begging for me to not leave him. The next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital room but restrained and Josh he got yelled at for removing the restraints but after that I had to spend a month in mental rehab...then before coming out on tour um I had to stand up for myself in court and he was sick from his treatments so he couldn't be there but, it was so dehumanizing that they were believing her instead of me until I said and showed proof of what she did. So I understand how he feels, just keep an eye on him Ian and tell Mike to as well cause I don't know if he would start to relapse on his eating disorders or drugs or fuck even self harm." I said to Ian as I just wanted to keep an eye on Josh's mental state since everything happened yesterday.