Desperate Measures

Blue

A week later...

I rolled over hearing my alarm go off as I grabbed my phone turning the alarm off as I went to cuddle Matt as I couldn't feel him. I opened my eyes looking around for him as I saw the bathroom light on. "Matt you up?" I said getting up from the bed walking over to the bathroom as he looked up at me as he was brushing his teeth. "Mhm sorry I just woke around twenty minutes ago. Didn't want to wake you." He said spitting out the toothpaste into the sink and rinsing his mouth out.

"Ah okay...you okay to drive me to this appointment for the treatments?" He smiled nodding. "Yup I got cleared yesterday to drive again yesterday. Just gimme a moment to get dressed. It's in Seattle right?" I nodded grabbing some comfy clothes out of my closet. "Yeah just so they can keep an eye on me incase something happens. Also they're starting my potential cure for this shit, but it might take a huge toll on my body. Just so you know." I said taking off my sleep top as he walked over near me as he just looked amazed.

"Like what you see eh?" I said jokingly as he just blushed even more as I put on a tank top. "Yeah I mean I've seen you shirtless before but fuck you're just so cute." I sighed putting on some sweatpants. "Even with the ugly scars and the port that's in my chest? I'm not cute I'm sick and I'll always be reminded of it." I said as I felt his hands on my shoulders as it felt good. "Josh it makes you seem more tough and strong of a person not someone who's ugly. Plus I find your scars kinda badass." He said pressing his lips up to my neck as I sighed smiling at his positivity and what he's doing to my neck at the moment.

"Man...I wish we didn't have to drive up to Seattle right now. Also thank you for that." I said pulling away and grabbing my backpack and putting in some of my medications for nausea to help that part out and a book and my laptop. "Alright I'm gonna get dressed Josh okay? And maybe once you're okay then maybe we can try it out." I turned around at Matt with my jaw dropped. "You know that I have never been with a guy sexually right? So I'll have zero clue of what I'm doing." He smiled laughing a little bit putting on his jeans.

"I'm in the same boat love, I have no clue what I'm doing but this is new for both of us so if you're not ready to try then it's fine." I looked down smiling as I love that he understands me so freaking well. "Maybe once I'm not such a health risk. Plus we're both learning as we go which is lovely to do. Now I'll be in the kitchen grabbing some stuff for the hospital." I said kissing his cheek and walking into the main area with my bag.

-

I walked over to the sink leaning up against it as I just needed a moment to just prepare myself for the possibilty of becoming sicker today. It shouldn't be that different than what I am feeling like now. I looked up from the sink grabbing my water bottle and a few cans of gingerale and putting it into the bag while filling up my water bottle. A few moments later Matt came out grabbing his travel mug from the cabnet and starting to brew some coffee.

"Did you want me to make something quick or grab something while on the way?" He said as I put a flavour packet into the bottle as I shook my head. "Considering I might be even worse than I am now, I'm okay to skip it but go for it." I heard him sigh as he handed me a slice of toast. "You gotta eat something Josh. I'm just worried you haven't been eating much latley." I smiled picking it up as I took a small bite but nope my body didn't like it. I turned around spitting it out over the sink with some stomach bile.

"T-That's why...I haven't been eating much latley. I can't keep things down love. It's just one of the side effects, and a shitty one to begin with but I'll be okay." I could feel him rubbing my back as I slid down the cabnets sitting on the floor waiting for that feeling to pass. "Why don't you tell them that you have this bad of a reaction?" He said sitting down next to me as I put my knees up to my chest. "I did tell them but they won't switch it up for the results so I have to put up with it. It's only for a few months then if the 'cure' works, then no more treatments. I get my life back which I really hope I do Matt but come on it's about an hour drive." I said standing up and grabbing my hoodie putting it on and walking over to put my shoes on.