Rage. That's what Olivia Bennett was feeling when she ran away to Australia. She's been off the grid, offline, and off men for nearly eight months.
It's the start of 2021 and she's ready for her busiest year yet. Movies, music, and fashion work line...
"Hey," I said softly in greeting as my husband stood up from the table.
"Hi," he said, stepping around to grab my hands and pull me in just to place a kiss on my cheek. Then he moved to pull out my chair. "How you been?" He asked me.
I smiled weakly, "I'm okay. Moments of being sad—mad... keeping busy to distract myself."
He nodded, "Same."
"Work?" I asked him.
"Uh, yeah," he shrugged. "Afterwards, I usually go out for drinks. I don't like... being in the apartment alone."
I frowned, "How's Bear?" I asked about our—his dog. Of course I took Noon. I've had my baby for years. But for our split, he kept Bear, which was actually really hard for me. We got him as a brand new puppy. And he was a lot more cuddly and affectionate than Noon and... my husband as of late.
"He's fine," he assured.
"And you?" I asked, reaching out to grab his hand on the table. He looked a mess. Bags under his eyes, messy hair.
"I'm anything but," he said. "I miss you like crazy, Olivia. I just... I feel like we're making a mistake."
I frowned, "it's hard and it hurts. But Dylan we want different things. I can't wait to have children. I've waited too long already which is the problem now. And... I can't force you to be ready."
"I know, I just don't want to rush into this decision like this," he said. "It feels... wrong."
I went to agree. It felt terrible. And the weight of this being labeled 'a failure' gave me anxiety, shame, and so much guilt I could cave in and stay with him even if it meant being miserable for... a while. But that was no way to live. You can't live for other people. However, maybe this was hasty. I got my diagnosis and we were both emotional. We've been texting and neither has changed our minds. He wants to put off kids. He can't do it—
"Sorry," he said as his phone rang loudly. He pulled it out of his jacket pocket and it slipped out of his hands onto the table. Just enough for me to see who was calling, "Babs ❤️" A scoff left my lips.
So much for it feeling wrong. This was a hundred percent the right decision. Because the truth was I wasn't sure he didn't want kids right now versus with me, and committing that part of himself to me. We were married, yes and I think he has this sense of obligation to stay because he didn't believe in divorce so to speak. But that doesn't change the fact, that a part of him wasn't mine anymore—and either it never was or it's belonged to her since their threesome—because there was no way I could shake the idea that he would want a cozy friendship with a woman who nearly destroyed his marriage.
Dylan silenced the ringing and put the phone away to look at me. He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off, "I love you," I stated wholeheartedly. "And I will probably always love you. We created a child together and I will never ever forget that. And as much as I wanted to spend my life with you, we want different things right now. I was sure we were meant to be but I guess the timing was wrong. And maybe one day we will find each other again, maybe not. But right now, the right thing and honest thing to do is to go our separate ways to get what we want out of life. For me that's being a mother. I guess alone now that we're separated... I truly wish you the best. I'll always be here for you and cherish our time together. I just don't want us to grow to resent each other one day so it's best we suck it up and rip off the band aid."
He nodded seemingly in defeat, "I never meant to hurt you."
"I know," I assured.
***
olivia_sprouse and dylansprouse
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