60: December 25th, 2022

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I handed Dylan a mug before joining him in the couch so we could curl up together. "Thank you," he whispered.

I took a sip of my hot chocolate before resting my head on his shoulder, "Merry Christmas," I sighed. "Hubby."

"I don't feel merry," he mumbled.

"My mom texted. After I ignored her call this morning," I told him.

"What she say?"

"Merry Christmas," I snorted. "Then sent me some biblical verse or something I didn't bother to finish reading."

"She's just trying to help."

"The Bible isn't going to bring our baby back," I retorted. "Which I'm sick of telling her."

By now, everyone who knew I was pregnant, knew I was no longer. They've all sent their condolences. Bella and Selena visited when I got home. Timothee saw me before I left the hospital that day. Destiny flew from Dubai to New York with Dylan and I. She stayed with us for a few days before I insisted I was fine and she could go. My mother stopped by every single day. It was nice and yet also so annoying.

Dylan was being strong. He never let me hear him cry. I've caught him a hundred times. But usually at night he holds me while I sob into my pillow. We haven't left the house since we got home thirteen days ago. Well outside of Dylan taking the dogs for a walk. I think he needed the fresh air and to be alone so I never went with. But a lot of the time we were lucky that my mom took them for us.

Dylan sighed heavily, "I'm going to take the dogs for a walk. Then I'll make breakfast for you."

"For me?" I frowned. "You need to eat too."

We've been ordering nonstop as well. "I'll pick up Chinese," he said instead, standing up. "I'll be back in a bit—"

"You want me to come with?"

He did a double take, "You...? You want to come with me?"

I shrugged, "I'm suffocating in this house, in my skin, in this grief. And every time you leave here I just... I freak out being alone."

"Why didn't you...? Yeah, angel. I'd love for you to come with me."

I smiled softly, too weak to smile big and pretend this was more than what it was. I had separation anxiety from my husband. I haven't been outside in thirteen days. I keep the curtains closed in case there are paparazzi outside.

***

olivia_bennett and dylansprouse

olivia_bennett and dylansprouse

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