Rekindled with Rage

78: May 5th, 2023

I shushed Noon and Bear as I rushed to get the front door. "Dylan, you're—" the words died in my throat as I realized it wasn't my husband.

Dylan was supposed to be coming to pick up both dogs. He's been in LA since we went forward with announcing our separation. I think we've been really cordial and handling this well. We text every so often, keeping things light and wishing good days and etc. or sharing news articles about our break up. But he went on a camping trip with some friends so I got to keep Bear. Today he was supposed to pick Bear up and watch Noon for me as I was leaving for Australia for the next ten days to be with my friends and just cut myself off from the world like I did a few years ago right before COVID, where I hid for a year and did some self reflection and healing. It was time I did that again.

"Colson," I uttered in surprise. "What are you...? You can't be here."

"Well, I am," he stated, "Want to let me in?"

I gulped as I stood back to gesture for him to enter my cottage. "Hurry, come in before someone sees you... how did you get here? Where's your car?"

"I took a ride share," he shrugged. "Wait, that doesn't matter. O... what the fuck?! You and Dylan are divorcing?"

I cringed, fuck. Why did I think he wouldn't know? Of course he would. We told the entire world days ago. It would be stupid for me to believe Colson wouldn't have an opinion on it, and naive to think he wouldn't share it with me.

"Yes," I answered. "Unfortunately we are."

"Why? Is it because...?"

"It has nothing to do with you, Colson," I assured him, rolling my eyes. "We split three weeks ago if you must know. We're not handling our grief well and... not that it's any of your business but I want a child as soon as possible. He needs a break. And I can't afford the time to give him one."

"I'm sorry," he said.

I nodded, "thanks."

"No. Seriously, I am, Olivia."

"I believe you," I said, guiding him through the living room. I went to the back door to the yard to let the dogs in as they clearly knew I had company. Bear stayed back while Noon jumped on Colson who bent down to let my boy leap into his skinny arms. I smiled, "I love that he remembers you... Look how happy he is."

Colson smiled, his cheeks being licked before he out him down and looked at me, "I was his daddy. Of course he remembers me. I'm his favorite I'm sure."

I laughed, "You've stuck around the longest... You're like a cockroach," I teased.

"You're an ass," he chuckled. "How are you holding up? Really... You doing okay? Need anything?"

"I'm fine. I'm packing—"

"What? Where are you going?"

"On a trip. I'm going to Australia for 10 days. I need a vacation, seriously."

He nodded, "Are you sure about the divorce?"

I frowned, nodding, "I wish it wasn't happening. But it is and it has to... We weren't doing well. We weren't happy. And I want kids. I'm sick of putting my life on hold for men! Everyone loves me and wants to be with me for life but doesn't want anything I want when I want it for myself? It's bullshit, Colson!"

He winced, "I'm sorry."

I had stifle back tears as I shook my head, "it's not your fault... it's no one's fault but my own. I was too stupid to realize that you and Jake and Damon and whomever else would never actually want children with me. I wasted so much time and now my body is betraying me... I finally found a man who wanted everything I did and I... I failed him—"