Say Don't Go

XVI. trauma

Vanraj sat behind a pile of papers at his desk.
Work was never-ending, of course.

"We can do it, sir.", The intern said softly.
"Oh shut up please!", Vanraj snapped back, "I gave y'all one work, but no. Screwed up that project and I am the one answering the clients."
The girl stood with her head low.
"Sir, I tried to too.. everyone else ruined it! This internship is very important to me.."
"I don't care, ma'am. I am not passing any of you. Ask the order group heads for support.", He said irritably.

The girl was almost on the brink of tears.
"Sir, please. This is very important to me.. Please give me a chance.", She said.
She reminded him of someone very strongly. A young female intern who claimed work was important, while messing it up all the time.

Vanraj exhaled sharply.
"Just leave for now.", He said, calmer.
The girl immediately turned and stormed out.
He sat back on his seat, holding his head.

He knew he was being unnecessarily harsh, but her resemblance with his ex wife made his life very difficult.
You need to stop being biased now. It's been two years now. No one needs you and you need to stop finding them in others.

His phone buzzed.
He picked up the call from an unknown number.

"Am I talking to Mr. Vanraj Shah?", The woman across the phone asked.
"Yes.", He said sitting up.
"You are Mahi Shah's father?"
"Yes. yes..", He said immediately, "Is everything fine?"
"Ah yes. Mahi is absolutely fine. I am her counsellor. Could we meet today, sir? I have been holding this back for a while and I think it really needs for attention.", She said.

Vanraj immediately stood up.
"I will be there in a moment.", He said and instantly rushed out of his cabin.
The young intern was sitting in her cubicle, face buried in her hand.
He sighed, as he walked down to her.
"You are okay?", He asked, turning his tone gentler with humungous effort.

She immediately looked up, bloodshot eyes.
He gulped.
She was probably Pakhi's age, just into work.
He forced a smile.
"I am leaving for some work. You can go into my office and get the files done. Don't take the others who messed up.", He said.

Her face immediately lit up.
"Thank you so much, sir!", She said happily. He nodded with a smile, drawing in a deep breath.
He turned and walked out of the office, into his car.

Mahi was a very good child. There were never any complaints against her. Then why did the counsellor call him?
He thought as he drove his car.

.

Vanraj sat in the counsellor's office.
"Mr. Shah, here are some essays from her english class. This.. this is her workbook. I think you need to see through.", She said.
He drew in a deep breath and opened the Value education workbook first.
"Chapter Family.", The counsellor added.

He opened the chapter.
There was a large sketch of a nuclear family on the first page.
A daughter with her parents.
Vanraj stared at the sketch, taken aback.

The mother's face had been deliberately scribbled with the pencil. The scribbling had been done in rage because the page had been tore a little because of the pressure.
He glanced up at the woman who inhaled deeply.
"That is not it, Mr. Shah. Her essays are even more shocking. Her teacher had given her to write an essay on mother.", She added.

He gulped nervously.
He picked up the exercise book and opened the page.

"I don't have a mother. I only have my Papa. My mother is a cheater who abandoned me for her own happiness and visits me once in a while to keep her conscious clean. She does not love me. Nobody loves me. Only Papa loves me. And I hate that woman. I only pretend to smile so that there is no drama. She is a vile woman who only loves her new son. I am a burden on her. I am her guilt that she has happily dumped on Papa and walked off. She has always tried to dump me on Papa. Even when my own biological dad did not accept me, she forced poor Papa to accept me. I hate her."

"She is wrote this?!", He asked, taken aback by a 7 year old's writing.
"Her teacher was shocked too, Mr. Shah. She handed this to me, and I am forced to call you. Your daughter is holding back a storm inside her. The scribbling on this book is of genuine concern. She holds so much grudge against her own mother, it is scary.", The counsellor said thoughtfully.

Vanraj kept the copy on the table, inhaling deeply.

"Is this true? The essay?", She asked.
He nodded in a stunned silence.

"Mr. Shah, her art is also quite indicative of her grudge against her mother. She deliberately does not draw just a father and daughter, but never the mother. I know, couples separate and things go wrong. But the child is traumatised.. it is dormant now, but it will start surfacing on her daily behaviour soon enough. She really loves you no doubt, but her grudge against her mother is still going to make her bitter.", She added.

"What.. what can I do?", Vanraj asked softly.
Still trying to process everything.
"You must talk to her. Tell her.. that her mother is not that evil or nasty..", The counsellor said, sighing.
"How do I deny her accusations? The cheating, the forcing to accept.. everything is true.", He said, helplessly, "I-I cannot lie to her. It is true that Kavya moved on completely and visits her once in a while.. That she has a kid of her own. Her biological father did not want to accept her.. it is all true.", His voice trembled a little.

The counsellor inhaled deeply.
"Then I believe you need to get her proper clinical therapy, Mr. Shah.", She said.
He nodded, gulping.

He stood up and dragged himself out of the school.
A failure as a father. Again.
He buried his face in his hands, almost on the edge of a breakdown. He had no idea that his little "queen" as she called herself was actually holding onto so much anguish and hatred.
Although, she loved him. Somehow, he had not expected so much loath for anyone in her heart.
She had been so pure and happy, all the time - he just never realised.

All because Kavya had been stupid enough to scream the truth over the phone to Anirudh.
The helplessly seemed to project itself into rage.
He picked up his phone to dial her. 
She is the one who should be accountable for this.

He was about to call her when there was a knock on his window.
He looked up.

Mahi stood right beside him, outside the car.
He kept the phone back, hastily.
He opened the door.

"And I knew you would come.", She said, hands on her waist, cheeky smile on her lips.
Vanraj blinked off his tears in desperation, taken aback.
"Titu bhaiya! See Papa is here! I told you he never ignores what I say.", She shouted.

Vanraj turned to look at Titu.
But his gaze fell on the one woman he did not want to see again.

Anupamaa stood beside Titu, wearing a simple salwar kameez, hair tied up. Little or no make up. The dark circles under her eyes were visible and the diamond ring Vanraj had despised was gone.
Their eyes met.
And instantaneously, they knew, something had gone terribly wrong in both their lives.

....

hehe :)
and although I was going to end this book yunhi, I remembered about childhood trauma and brought this track.
would love your views on it! *heart heart*