•Unwritten•

Forty Six

TW- mention of suicide

I could feel blood trickling down my hand from all the minuscule cuts that were on my wrists and arms, due to the smashing glass table a few hours prior. My head bobbed to the side as I heard the engine to the impala purr and just through the slit in the curtain I saw Dean driving off with Sam beside him.

I turned my head back to the two angels stood before me, a look of pure fear in my eyes as the two of them just looked at me. My heart was a beating drum, the symphony of it sounding in my ears, each thump adding to the tingle of my skin. I had dropped so far off the reservation a part of me didn't even want to try and run from what was about to happen. Dean was right, I had no power over my abilities, they were controlling me. I became a different person when I had demon blood in my system, I'd convinced myself that the reason I went too far last time was because I was addicted but all it took this time was one drop- the same amount that I'd had in me my whole life. Castiel was wrong, it had been in me all along it was never brought on through influence or circumstance. I just had to wait for the switch to flip, which it had and there was no turning back now. Death would be a mercy to me and many others.

"Just make it quick." I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath in, I wondered how they were going to do it. Would they smite me? Would it be painful? Of course it would be painful, it was in the name. Castiel had said he would make it painless but after what I had done today, I didn't think I deserved that.

I felt a hand press against my forehead and my breathing hitched. This was it, I was about to die.

Nothing happened, except for the cuts on my arm stopped stinging and the throbbing in my cheek came to a halt. I opened my eyes and brought my hand to my  face, not feeling any of the abrasions anymore. "No, what are you doing? Why did you heal me?" I spoke in a panicked state, I had prepared myself to die. I caught another glimpse of myself in the window reflection, despite no physical evidence of wounds, it was noticeable even in the faint reflection that I was wounded way deeper than just my skin. My eyes moved back to meet Castiel's, he looked at me with a questioning glance.

"You think that you deserve to die?" He asked, his voice slightly cracking with genuine curiosity. I was stumped for words, my answer was yes but the look on his face told me that today wasn't the day they were coming for me.

"Why are you here?" I choked out.

Uriel took a step forward and I flinched remembering our last interaction, he didn't look any less hostile than the last time I had seen him. "Because you are an abomination."

The words struck a true pang to my heart, it was the perfect word to describe what I was. "What you did today was reckless." Castiel continued and I nodded, still unclear on their motive to come here. And despite the fact that they had so far shown me mercy, it didn't stop the dark, demonic parts of my mind imagining all the ways I could attack them and make a run for it.

"Firstly you worked with a demon, secondly you disobeyed our one instruction given to you. You consumed the blood of a demon and used that ability to hurt people." Uriel's eyes narrowed, once again he was looking at me as if I was nothing more than gum stuck to his shoe.

"But-" Castiel gave Uriel a warning glance. "We understand that it was not your intention to do what you did."

Uriel scoffed. "Like it makes any difference."

"You know our orders. Are you prepared to disobey?" Castiel craned his neck over to him, and Uriel just looked away. He obviously wasn't planning to disobey whatever order they had.

"Why are you here?" I asked, the question aimed at Castiel, the only one out of the latter that seemed to show a minuscule of compassion.

"Our orders are to take you, and re-cleanse you."