•Unwritten•

Sixty One

Sam's POV-

I could see my breath forming in front of me, little white clouds that were the only thing separating my mind from what I was about to do. My entire life, I knew I was different- I could feel it.

In my heart, in my head, in my blood.

I wasn't even surprised when I found out what made me different, when my abilities started because I had always known I wasn't the same as my father or my brother. The only thing that frightened me was what it meant, having demon blood coursing through me couldn't mean I was good could it?

I met so many others like me, Max, Ava and Jake. All of them turned bad because of the influence, even Faith did eventually. She was a fighter, she always had been even though she didn't realise it. Faith was the thing that I clung too, she had the same blood as me and she stayed good but when she dropped off the deep end- when she took the plunge, that's when I realised that only I could choose how this disease controlled me. And I was going to use it to do something right, I was going to stop the devil from rising. It was the ultimate sacrifice, my brother, my best friend, all the family I had left is what this choice cost me but it had to be done. I was the only one who could stop it.

Bang

I closed my eyes tightly, trying to drown out the sound.

Please, let me out!

I opened them again, instantly focusing on the road sign before me that read. 'St Mary's convent-2 miles'.

I took a deep breath in, moving my eyes across to the other side of the road where the car was parked. Even from where I was standing, I could still hear the faint sound of Cindy screaming from the trunk. I could also see Ruby walking towards me, slowly and cautiously.

She was afraid of me, as she should've been.

She was a demon, the thing I was supposed to hunt, to kill. To hate. But I didn't hate her, I didn't love her either. We'd slept together, explored intimacy that I hadn't trailed to before but my feelings towards her were not real, they were a result of the blood flowing through my veins. She was nothing to me, a teacher at best. A source of knowledge sometimes, but ultimately a means to an end.

"Sam, it's time. Are we doing this or not." Despite her voice quiet and low, I could still sense the urgency.

"Give me a minute to think." I responded flatly, my eyes moving back over to the road sign. I couldn't help the dark feeling inside of me, the question that was begging- Am I doing this because it's the right thing? Or am I doing this to prove a point?

"Sam-"

"GIVE ME A DAMN MINUTE RUBY!" My words came out harsh, like a knife cutting metal but she didn't falter. Instead, she just pressed her lips together and stepped back, giving me what I requested.

I opened and closed my fist quickly, thinking about everything this decision had cost me. Faith, I'd lost her trust, I'd hurt her in ways that I would've never dreamt of when I first met her. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander back to that day at the hospital, I was filled with dread, screaming for help from the gurney as I was rushed into the ER. Nobody was listening to me, or giving me information but Faith did. She had my back, she listened to me. A small smile appeared on my lips as I remembered how snippy she was, the fiery personality that she kept hidden behind walls and walls of insecurity. But overall she was innocent, pure and now when I thought of her, all I could see was a broken shell. It wasn't all my fault, I knew that.

When I asked her to join Dean and I, I couldn't have known how it would play out for her. And in all honesty, she would've been in South Dakota in the end anyway- if she survived that long. So bringing her with us was probably in her best interest but it didn't make me feel any better. In the last few years, she'd been hurt physically and mentally countless times. She lost people she cared about, she died and I didn't make any of it easier for her.