Why Do You Care About Me? - A Reese Wilkerson Fanfiction

4

"Hey, Emma, can you hang out? My mom is screeching at me to get out of the house." Me and her used to go on walks all the time in middle school, and they were always so much fun. The last time we went on a walk toghether wasn't even because she wanted to. I had bumped into her on the street when I was on one of my lonely walks, and she didn't have any excuse not to come with me.

I asked her literally everyday. (Is my life really that fucking boring that I have nothing else to do?)

"Uuhh... Sorry... I can't." Fuck me. At least my rejection sensitivity was getting better.

"Why not?" I was trying my best not to sound pissed off.

"Uhm... I... I just... can't really be bothered right now. Maybe tommorow?"

"Oh, Okay." Same reply every time. I wanted to cuss her out right there for being so damn selfish, but I couldn't choke the works out of my mouth. She got offended so fucking easily, it wasn't worth it.

"Bye." She even hung up before I could. I angrily jabbed Zoe's number into the phone.

"Hello?" She answered, obviously, since she had her own phone in her bedroom that she didn't share with anyone.

"Can you hang out?" 

"No, I'm busy."

"Oh, what are you doing?"

"Just... stuff." 

"Please?"

"No, I'm busy!" Upon hearing those words, I hung up, defeated. I had a lump in my throat, tears burning at my eyes, and my chest was pounding angrily.

 I call them everyday and they just turn me down everyday. I felt pathetic at this point.

"Geogria, why is your ass not outside yet?" My mom shrieked. She was pretty scary sometimes. 

"Zoe and Emma are both busy."

"Then go on your own! Or take your sister or one of your brothers." Caleb, my 16 year old brother, was at work. My younger siblings didn't really like doing anything with any of us really, unless absolutely they had to. And neither did I. But like right now, it was one of them, or just me. "I meant now?!" I forgot she was still standing there. I moodily got up, stuffed my old trainers on and made sure to slam the front door behind me to make my statement. I glanced into the back yard and only saw Finn, my little 7 year old brother, absorbed by burying his broken toy truck in the sand. I wandered down the driveway and looked down both sides of the street, to see if Richard, my 9 year old brother, or Kaiya, my 13 year old sister, were anywhere in sight. They weren't. I wandered around the neighbourhood.

I rarely ever hanged out with my siblings simply because we were all just so vastly different, the only thing we really agreed on was TV. We didn't really like each other either. Even though I knew deep inside that I loved all of them. I knew they all did too, but were just too embarrassed to admit it. We did have rare moments of sibling love or when we got along, but those didn't come along often.

I saw a lots of little kids, playing on the sidewalk, riding bikes and just hanging out, not a care in the world. Why did I never get to experience that? I'd always been too fucking shy, and had one friend all through elementary. Well, maybe I did, at most five times.

 I ended up on dawdling on a swing in the most melancholic empty playground ever. It had been going on for months now. 

I usually didn't mind being alone, but I still needed people. The right people. They didn't really exist in my life right now. Just one person. That I can spend time with, feel fulfilled, understood and happy with. Someone who I could actually have fun with. Someone who enjoyed being with me too. I needed that so much right now. A deeper connection. 

Just so they could be there. So I could feel their presence. Feel less alone. 

I swung high over the playpark, watching the houses and fields below me. I'd always wanted to explore those fields, but... I really just wanted someone to come with me.