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23.09.01 HBD JK

Y/N POV:

I've been staying with Yoo-na for 2 months now. Her and Yumi have really helped me get back on my feet. I still haven't been able to watch JK's lives, but both Yumi and Yoo-na have been telling me that he doesn't seem to be doing well.

Yoo-na begs me to call him almost every week. It's been too long at this point. I don't want to embarrass myself. She doesn't get it. Yumi told me how JK seems so sad in his streams. She mentioned how he even cried during one. I tried to get myself to watch it, but the second I heard his voice I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my face.

I am back at my apartment in California right now. Yoo-na needs me here for the whole month of September for work. She at least had it redecorated for me so it didn't seem like my old apartment at all. I am so thankful for her. Today is JK's birthday. I really miss him so much. I just miss how truly happy I was being around him. It felt so pure. I've come to realize that I am truly 100% in love with him and only him. I can't even see other guys. One of the men I have to work with keeps flirting me with and I just feel disgusted. I guess I'm meant to be alone for the rest of my life.

I saw there were dating rumors with Jungkook and one of the girl's from Le Sserafim. It makes sense. She's gorgeous. JK's gorgeous. They're both idols. They're made for each other. The thought makes me want to curl into a ball and never leave my bed. It'll just have to be something I have to get used to. I'm trying to be OT7 now, ARMY for life. I am a strong person. I can get over heartbreak. Lowkey tho, who am I fooling, I fucking love Jungkook with every ounce of my soul, in this life and the next thousands. JK will always be the one for me.

The "JK is live" notification popped up on my phone. It's his birthday. I have never missed his birthday livestream since becoming ARMY. I will grow a pair and watch this one all the way through. I gave myself a few pats on my face and turned it on.

God, he is gorgeous. His hair got shorter. He looks so good in a beanie. I am literally wet. He started singing the song playing in the background and my eyes immediately started watering. He looks so sad. He's just sitting there telling us how he's happy, but I could see it in his eyes. He needs me. He wants me. I know it. I can feel it. His eyes are calling out to me.

He mentioned that he will be performing at the Global Citizen's festival in New York at the end of the month. My heart is racing. I need to call Yoo-na.

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