Making her Joyful Again || RF Julie x FEM reader || L1TTL3_R0TT3N

- Ch.18: Damned by Datura -

Like teenagers again, Cod and the twins all gathered in [Name]'s bedroom for the night. Astaire had joined in as well, his excuse being the guilt trip of having to return to his duties in another universe soon.

And no matter how happy it made [Name] to feel so young again, she was still depressed. She knew Harold was more than disappointed in her. She couldn't blame him. She had given in to Julie's every whim without question.

She's been doing that since they'd met. 'I must've been in love since the beginning.' She thought to herself as she hugged her pillow to her chest. "Yo." A sudden piece of popcorn was tossed at [Name]'s back to grab her attention.

She turned around to see Molly holding her bag of popcorn, another cornel in her hand to abuse.  "What?" [Name] reluctantly groaned with a dragged-out word. "Stop being such a bitch. You're not paying attention to the movie." Cod yelled from the foot of the bed. He jumped in the bed beside her, moving Astaire out of his way from the floor.

"You're watching the JoJo Siwa music video." She said, unimpressed with any of their antics. Cod snorted. "She's had a glow-down since Boomerang." He leaned on his hands as he pulled them behind his head. 

[Name] sighed and allowed herself to smile. They both curled up under the bedsheets and watched the cringey video play out. Dolly and Molly exchanged both gags and laughs. Astaire simply stared at the screen in regret and disgust.

"It wouldn't kill you to actually confront Julie about your feelings, you know." Cod leaned down to whisper to her. The audio of the old TV buzzed like a bug through the crisp air of the bedroom. All of them, grouped, felt good.

It had been eons since Astaire had stayed for more than a day. The twins were always caught up in their own thing, mostly consisting of secrets they kept. Cod was forever entangled in his own love life. That often left [Name] alone.

Then there was Julie. And in the few months they've known one another, it's been nothing short of heaven. [Name] isn't used to affection or love. Her entire life, she's been distant from whatever family she had. Including Harold and Astaire.

But with Julie, she felt connected. She felt like maybe she was alone too. She hoped that maybe if they were together, they'd never have to feel alone.

But fantasies have never gotten her anywhere. So she decided that maybe it was time to put her box of fantasies back in the cluttered closet she calls her mind. It was time she learned to separate her brain and heart.

🌼~🌼~🌼~🌼~🌼~🌼~🌼~🌼

By three in the morning, everyone was well past fast asleep. [Name], however, stared at the ceiling while she tossed in turned. Everywhere in her mind, every corner and crevice, she was there.

Julie. Her Julie, she wished. But no, just Julie. [Name] had never loved before. Never this deeply. Never this darkly. Never for someone she knew she could never have. How stupid she felt for ever believing she was loved in return was incomparable. 

She finally planted her feet on the ground, carefully darting across everyone's sleeping bodies on the ground. She finally reached the door and left her bedroom. The hallway light was on, which she found strange. She may have been a big energy-saver, but Harold was an energy-saving freak.

"You don't need artificial light if you want to feel the sun."

She never understood what he meant, but sure. A familiar smell of French perfume filled her nose as she walked. It was a welcome scent in comparison to the dry marigolds that leaked from Julie when she approached her in an extreme state.

Like her lust and anger.

Just the thought of it, of her heart and her touch, and how amazing she knew it could've been, she couldn't help but peacefully lean into the bathroom door. She shut it behind her quietly in hopes not to wake anyone.

She pressed her back against the door, her breathing turning into heavy pants at the mere thought. Rough, tangled touches...raw, primal kisses...

It made her knees tremble so much she collapsed to the floor. She let her palms sink into the cold tile. She leaned her forehead down against the floor, panting more and more. "Julie...where did we go wrong..?" She whispered helplessly into her glazed reflection.

"Why won't you see...how terrible your husband really is? Why do you have to play with my heart only to never see that?" With each word that emitted from her lips, her tears became more and more difficult to contain. She let out a soft sob.

"Why would you stop fighting?" A sudden voice popped in through behind. [Name] jumped in fright, sitting up immediately. She flared up in embarrassment. "Thymia! Oh shit, did I wake you up?"

Thymia's hair was wrapped in a silk bonnet and her body was wrapped in a bedsheet. She wore a thick and fluffy robe beneath. Before [Name] spoke up or tried to explain herself, she blinked away her tears. "Where...where did you just come from?"

Thymia's mouth stretched into a thin line as she tried to dodge the question. "None of your business. Now, tell me what's got you in knots." She sat down against the wall before her and opened her arms as a welcome to embrace.

[Name] crawled up in her plump arms without a second word. Thymia held her tight against her chest. [Name] listened closely to her heartbeat. She wondered if this was the heartbeat of a person who had felt love. A person who felt love and felt it was worth the heartbreak.

"Remember what I told you back at Deep Sea?" Thymia mentioned their visit to her club almost two months ago. [Name] nodded. "Tell me why you won't fight for this girl, honey. You forget my advice." 

The lull of her voice soothed [Name] out of her worries enough for her to talk. "I tried, Thymia. I really did, but..." She took in a deep breath to attempt at calming herself. "I must've fallen in love in the process." She dragged out a sigh.

She could almost hear Thymia smile. She swore she could hear her skin pull up into a grin not too different from Cod's. "Sweet girl." She hummed mellowly. "Are you trying to tell me you're giving up because you love her?"

"O-Of course! I have to!" She looked up at Thymia with tears in her eyes. "No matter how deep my feeling for her are, she's married to someone else." She shook her head to distract herself from the pain.

"Last time I heard, Walden was no good to his wife. So let me ask you this again, [Name]." She turned her chin up so she could see [Name]'s face. "Are you giving up because you love her, or are you going to fight because you love her?"

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