LF Friends, Will Travel

You may be entitled to compensation!

Date: 41 PST (Post Stasis Time)

Injured by a Terran? Random stuff set on fire? Kidnapped because you are 'cute'? You might be entitled to compensation!

The voice shouted out enthusiastically from the TV screen as the video played on a loop, showing an alien standing in front of a backdrop of books, all presumably long and complicated legal documents.

"My name is Skeezal, and did you know that when dealing with Terrans, you have rights?"

Skeezal was a Plutari, a giant turquoise bipedal squid, looking surprisingly professional in a dapper black suit, gesturing wildly with his tentacles as he spoke.

"All Terrans outside of the Terran Conclave are legally required to carry insurance. If you've been injured, harassed or otherwise harmed by a Terran in any way, you may be entitled to compensation!"

The video showed a Galnet number to call on the screen as the advertisement continued to play.

"With over 12 years legal experience and 7 years of cases handling Terran damage claims in particular, there's no better set of tentacles to guide you towards the compensation you deserve. Just listen to these happy customers!"

The video playing into the empty lobby switched to show a little cream-coloured teddy bear shaped Hatil.

"A Terran kidnapped me for 3 hours because I was cute, and Skeezal got me a 5 figure credit payout for emotional damage and loss of wages!"

Once again, another testimonial continues to sound out from the TV screen as a blue-green scaled reptilian Ritilian replaced the last 'happy customer'.

"A Terran engineer I hired tried to 'upgrade' my warp core, causing my ship to be stranded for three weeks. Thanks to Skeezal I got a 6 figure payout for damages and lost business!"

Once again the advert returns to Skeezal, this time in front of a clearly green screened backdrop showing the Australia region of Earth.

"Some of you may be concerned that the Terrans are Deathworlders. Well so am I! You can rest assured that I will fight for your case through Terran bureaucracy with the same perseverance that caused my species to become the apex predator of our home planet!"

Once again, the video showed another testimonial, this time a small 2 ft tall brown furred rodent, the little Quoxxett speaking with enthusiasm into the camera.

"After my weaponized Roomba injury, Skeezal got me over twenty thousand credits in compensation!"

Once again the advert changes back to Skeezal, back in front of the books, a list of possible crimes and compensation actions appearing in a list as they spoke.

"Weaponized roombas! Overzealous Hugging and petting! Kidnapping! Cute Aggression! Setting things on fire! Terran Brand Oopsies and much much more! With our no win no fee guarantee, why not book yourself in for a free consultation? Because Skeezal's got this!"

The advert finishes with the squid-like alien giving a representation of a thumbs up, before the video went silent. A few moments passed in the compact room, before it started back up again from the beginning. The office that doubled as a lobby, that doubled as a conference room, was a small thing: A simple desk scattered with books, papers, and various data pads surrounded by a handful of chairs and one bright orange houseplant shoved into a corner.

It wasn't much of an office, but Skeezal had never really seen the benefit of paying for things he didn't need. He spent most of his time travelling around Terran space, so the office was mostly held on this small moon cluster to allow for a more neutral space to meet with customers... and for tax reasons. As unassuming as the small room was, it held one of the most successful non-Terran lawyers to process claims against the Terran Conclave's extensive insurance.