LF Friends, Will Travel

Why we said yes - Terran

Jan Eagles suppressed the urge to sigh. It was a trick he'd mastered over his many years as an ambassador, the ability to avoid a physical reaction regardless of the situation, to remain unflinchingly calm and diplomatic in the most undiplomatic of circumstances. This was a skill being tested to its limits by this new... problem.

He stood at the head of the table, surveying the room. This was the nice office, situated on the ambassadorial station in orbit of Earth itself, the one used for the most important meetings, carefully put together to provide an aura of friendship and strength in equal measure.

Paintings, photographs and tapestries hung from the walls, some commissioned, some gifted by members of the Terran Alliance. Representations of cities or natural wonders from Earth and other Terran planets were hanging next to artworks from alliance members and pictures of Terran diplomats meeting with various alien leaders.

A deep mahogany table with twenty seats dominated the room, allowing the Terrans to host major meetings with important guests. The clear glass windows of the far wall provided an impressive view of not only the splendour of Earth, the beautiful blue and green marble that hung in the sky, but the many, many warships in her defensive fleet. Upon the table normally sat a variety of foods sourced from Earth: Fruits, dried meats, other edible delicacies from the planet the station orbited had all been pushed to the edge of the surface, to make room for the 'gifts' that Jan's visitor had brought.

A random selection of items lay scattered in a pile: A giant laser cannon of unknown make was placed next to a giant plush toy of some five legged furry creature that Jan didn't recognize. A case of Lituram wine hiding under a strange decorative sculpture that wobbled in place. Finished off with a robe with three armholes draped over the top of it all, a line of alien text on the front that read 'I LUV GRIZXTAL CITY'. The entire collection had the vibe of someone who'd suddenly realized it was Christmas Eve while shopping at a gas station, which to be fair, precisely described the rush with which Zantari had brought their presents.

"So, let us recap to see if I understand this situation. You are Zantari, a diplomat for Ghirlinn who has been avoiding contact with the Terran Conclave because your species finds Terrans, humans in particular, cute. You are worried about members of your species starting human trafficking due to your technological advantage. As soon as you leave this conversation you legally have to inform your government about our existence, bringing this problem to a head. Have I got this right?"

Jan asked the question, summarizing the rambling nervous explanation that Zantari had given him, feeling the start of a headache coming on from the problems this might cause. Of course, the head diplomat for the Terrans knew about the Ghirlinn, or at least as much as one can know about such a species. They knew the alien race could do things that broke the current Terran understanding of how the universe worked, and that, at best, they could be described as 'trickster gods', known for their love of watching and messing with people.

The fact that this species was going to take special interest in the Terrans was worrying.

There was pause while Jan waited for the Ghirlinn to answer the question, the seconds awkwardly ticking by as Zantari stared at him with a blank distracted look in their eyes, before the reptilian form the Ghirlinn preferred to use by default gave a jump of surprise, as if being awoken from their own thoughts. A panicked look was plastered across their face as Zantari realized someone had asked them a question.

"Errr... I'm sorry, what was the question? I... I got a little distracted by the way the fur beneath your nose bounces up and down while you talk... like a little boopable button."

Jan once again held in the urge to sigh, instead pushing the feeling deep into his soul and suppressing it into what would probably later form a brain tumour. He got the feeling that many 'cute' aliens of the universe would be getting apologies from certain people upon their first interaction with the Ghirlinn.