I hadn't notice the things that altered in me when he entered my life and suddenly became a part of it. I never unwillingly put myself in any state because I always thought not a bit of it matters. Not for me. It's probably a pleasure or a wild thing that everybody enjoys but not me. I was never a person who gets effortlessly thrilled. Now it came to my grasp that he was the cause beyond something new and the unfamiliar things I quite admire now.
Like the long rides I used to disapprove but now my seven days would be lacking without having to sit with him for hours to a particular location for work, and surprisingly can have a nap at any moment during a long drive, without protesting countless things inside his vehicle. I used to not be feeding myself too much or even fairly because normally I wouldn't have any craving or appetite at all, but he would make me try foods I've never even had before and will ultimately want more every time. I would despise the thought of cleaning and being tidily arranged but now that it's already months that I'm working with Sam, and witnessing how orderly he treats everything from his place to his belongings, he somewhat influenced me to steer clear of mess and being chaos. Though that's one thing about me that I never thought would improve. There's still a recollection in my mind the first time he nearly sets his foot inside my room, and at a glance it would appear to be owned by a careless juvenile. It was humiliating. One thing is for certain I dislike being close to individuals because they can hurt my ear and they can be unanswerable often, however when I started working I'm obliged to make adjustment for myself to face customers. Though I'm not fond of most things, it's a process and it gets better.
It crossed my mind how Laurel would sit next to me and give her opinion I don't even ask for her, but for the most part when I'm utterly worldless and head is far off from the current, I could hear her words echo coming out of her mouth and would deem to myself, she's not mistaken, she gets things better than I do. I need her right now. I have never made a resolution that applied me a good benefit.
So I did what I had to. I'm now standing infront of Laurel's hotel room brimming with uncertainty whether this is really what I should be doing. I've been telling myself that I'm not the person she wants to face or even talk to right now. But the moment I heard Sam's door close I immediately thought he's finally inside his room, quickly left his place and headed here. I could be asleep right now or watch my preference of a television series, which is fantasy or romance and completely hate everything mainly the ending, eat some sweets until such time my body decided to be unwell. I just want to be unable.
“I got it, babe. Don't wor—” I did not see this coming. If I did I could have thought this through initially, remain in Sam's place until I have finally decided. I withdraw my steps back the instant I saw Austin came out from Laurel's room carrying a few books on his other hand, and a shopping bag on the other. He didn't have a reaction the moment he saw me just standing which is surprising, as though he expected me to show up. “Hey, Cari.” He greeted me with a wide smile just when he's about to close the door behind him.
“Just a moment.” He stepped back a little and yelled for Laurel that I'm right outside. It took her a few minutes to see us outside a cold beverage she couldn't let go, with whatever fashion she's trying to wear today, she loves dressing up mostly when there's no reason to at all. Austin had to say goodbye before Laurel could even let me in, leaving us avoiding with each other's stares. Right now I can't really tell if she's exasperated of me being here, her face doesn't seem so pleasant seeing me here or anything that can make me think we're okay.
Getting her own place is one of her goals, it may not be a house she really wants yet, she always talks about how thrilled she is and never been more happy to acquire her personal space. Her parents stopped paying for her suite that made her look for a part-time job to pay for it. Having something like this is a vast achievement. This is my first time seeing her place personally, the last time was a few weeks back when she mailed me some photos of an empty space. It's practically filled with lilac along with its various tints and shades that it would seem like some animated character lives in here. She's got this enough space for her mini living room that has a wide screen attached on her lavender wall, and not only she likes that color she's fond with animal stickers too that her living room is full of it on every wall. I can see from here an ordinary small terrace on the right side with a pretty okay scene of structures and the blue skies with this partial window wall of hers. I also noticed the kitchenette she's got across the living room expecting it to be all organized but looks like there's a lot of washing tonight. And honestly it's all I can observe while not making it so obvious that I'd like a tour around first before talking.
“You wanna sit or just stand there?” She's still pretty much upset. I walked towards the couch and sat awkwardly, cleared my throat before I say something. “Hm?”
“You know me better than anyone, I have no idea how to begin with this.”
“Believe me I know.” She whispered quietly. She finally decided to put down her drink on this plum rounded low table of hers in the middle. “You wanna begin with an apology?”
I thought I already did however I was too tangled up with what happened between me and Dad that I haven't really thought about this. I meant to drop her a few message concerning this but I was too anxious to even hit the send button. There was a lot going on at that moment. I should've done this earlier but the time I wasn't receiving texts from her, I easily understood that I made a mistake and was entirely wrong. And knowing she's a social butterfly and can have this loud personality around people, she enjoys babbling to some friends virtually as well. She does that a lot with me even though I don't usually respond to any of it. “I’m sorry.”
I bit my lip trying to put together the words I'm about to say. “Honestly, I was wrong. I-I don't know him. I didn't had the right to judge him like that.”
“He’s amazing, Cari. You'll see.” Her tone turned soft as though we're having one of those deep conversation and it's like telling me she forgives me, completely ignored the things I said in a single apology. She came closer to me and put on her honest smile. I could tell we're fine. “I’m so glad you came and actually apologized. For all these years, I never heard you once say that. But enough about that, there is so much that you need to hear about this place.”
