“Happy birthday, beautiful.” My sleep was disturbed when I sensed someone close to me, and their breath smelled freshly minty, like they had just brushed their teeth. The words spoken were a soft murmur right by my ear. I couldn’t tell if it was morning yet since there were no birds chirping outside my window, so I kept my eyes closed with this person beside me. "It’s your birthday.”
I gradually opened my eyes and found Sam lying next to me, his face almost touching mine. I glanced toward the window and realized that no sunlight was streaming through. “What time is it, Sam?”
“It’s 5 a.m.”
I groaned and was about to close my eyes again when he interrupted me with something he was holding. He presented a white candle to me and lit it up. “I know you prefer not to blow out candles on a cake, so I brought this instead.”
“It’s only 5 a.m., can we just do this later?” Instead of listening to what I just said he drew nearer and kissed me on the cheek. Do you ever wake up and feel completely disoriented, not knowing what's going on around you? I'd be in that same state of confusion right now if Sam hadn’t kissed me. I noticed he's still holding the candle, waiting for me to blow it out. I settled on my bed and began to close my eyes. “For someone who claims not to care about their birthday, you sure know how to make a wish.”
I heard Sam speak while keeping both of my eyes closed. “You better not be sleeping.”
Falling asleep again wasn’t simple after he forced me awake, so I made a wish while I was still up. I recalled wishing as a child that my parents would one day bring me a puppy. I never talked to them about it hoping they just knew what I wanted, but growing up I knew it doesn't work like that automatically. I’ve learned that staying quiet and only wishing won’t bring you the things you want. I also recalled wishing for a turtle when our teacher asked the class which animal we would choose to be, I sketched a turtle on my paper because I initially thought we were very similar. Always staying hidden not out of self-defense, but because I live exclusively indoors. Truth be told, it used to be my lucky animal.
After a moment, I slowly opened my eyes and noticed Sam patiently waiting for me. “What did you wish for?”
“If I reveal it, my wish won't come true.” A smile spread across our lips as we locked eyes. I gently blow out the candle he's holding. Sam leaned toward me and kissed my forehead.
“I'll prepare your breakfast in the kitchen, you can go back to sleep now.” Just as he was about to leave, I grasped his arms.
“I can't guarantee I'll have breakfast, but I'd love to watch you cook.” My playful thoughts are imagining us kissing in the kitchen while he cooks. It's quite distracting trying to avoid that while I still want to go back to bed. I’d love to say we could skip breakfast and go back to sleep, but with Sam being such a morning person, that’s not an option. As we reached the kitchen, we were greeted by a counter strewn with ingredients. It's obvious he got up much earlier to make these, despite knowing I’m not a big breakfast eater.
As I watched Sam move around the kitchen for the next few minutes, I noticed the sunlight outside the windows growing brighter. I can't figure out what he's making at this time when everyone is still asleep. I got up from the stall and walked over to him to kiss him on the lips. “I'm just about finished with this.”
“Yeah, and I want this.” I didn’t hold back as I kissed him and he had no option but to kiss me back. He gently cleared the items from the table, making sure his cooking wasn't disturbed before lifting me onto the counter. Our tongues met, filled with love between us. We undressed and began kissing each other's skin, fulfilling the desires we both had since he woke me up. Kissing and being naked in front of each other always feels like the first time on his couch. Every memory and movement we share floods my thoughts whenever I'm with him at his place. Whenever we're alone and everything is silent, it's always what I envision. I kept moaning because Sam always knows exactly how I like it, and he keeps going because he enjoys my reactions. As the pleasure intensified, I stood up and removed my pants and told him I wanted to do it immediately, right here. I could see his eagerness to go in from the familiar look he gives me when he's craving for more. “You want it, birthday girl? You'll have to ask for it.” He whispered in my ear as soon as I turned my back and bent my body for him. I gasped when I heard those words from his perfect voice and it seemed to turn him on.
“I want it, Sam. Give it to me.” He removed his pants and slowly entered me, allowing the both of us experience the intense pleasure we desire. I realized that if it's time to move out, I won't be able to do this with him still in the house. I couldn't stand thinking about it while we were kissing because the negativity was pulling me down again.
After our make out scene in the kitchen, we fixed breakfast in the living room and talked about work. One of Sam's friends called him recently about an anniversary party, asking him to take charge of the photo booths and documentary photography. I shared with Sam that I thought it was time to hire at least one person to help us. He was unsure at first, but I know he'll consider it. He’s aware that I always value his opinions, so this time it’s up to him. I took just a few bites of the breakfast he prepared, as I didn't want to eat more than I could, and he understood. It was already seven in the morning when the idea of going for a walk suddenly came to me. I was about to open the door when a knock startled me that made me jump. “Who’s knocking at this early hour?” Sam said behind me and made his way to the door to open it before I could.
We both saw Tyrone outside, holding two cups of coffee and looking serious and unsure. “What are you doing here?” Sam asked him with his hand still on the door handle, ready to close it at any moment. His voice shifted to a stern tone, clearly displeased to see Tyrone so early in the morning.
“Morning, guys. I’m sorry to arrive at such an early hour.” He extended the two coffees to Sam, but Sam merely stared waiting for him to speak more.
“Thanks, Tyrone. Come in.” I stepped ahead of Sam and grabbed the drinks.
“I’d prefer not to let him in, Cari.” Tyrone was about to step inside when Sam spoke up behind me. I shot him a serious look, but he didn’t seem to get the message.
“Don’t worry, Cari. I’m not planning to stay long. I just wanted to hand you the key to your new place so if you decide to move suddenly, you won’t need to call me.” Tyrone retrieved something from his pocket, revealing a shiny new key and gave it to me. I was caught off guard since I hadn’t mentioned it to Sam, and now I’m unsure about this good morning. I took it from him before taking a deep breath. “I know you still haven’t brought it up to him, Cari.” Tyrone said to me softly.
“If that’s the extent of your message, you might as well leave.” Sam cut Tyrone off and abruptly shut the door, not giving him a chance to continue. I glanced at the key he handed me and saw my name etched on it when Sam abruptly grabbed it from me without a word. The moment Tyrone brought it up unexpectedly, I knew we were going to argue about this.
“Sam—”
“New place? What’s he talking about, Cari?” My heart began to race with every word he spoke, his intense gaze fixed directly on me. I didn’t see this coming because I knew I wouldn’t keep this from him forever.
“Do you remember when we were both searching for my place? Tyrone—”
“I don't care about him, Cari. I need to know how long you’ve been hiding this from me.” I want to lie right now just to keep him calm, but I know I can’t do that to him.
“The beginning of therapy—”
“You’ve been hiding this from me for nearly a month?” As he walked toward me, my breathing became faster. “Go ahead, tell me I’m wrong, Cari.”
“I’m sorry—I meant to tell you about it, but so much happened.” I’m beginning to feel my vision blur as tears threaten to fall. I looked away as I noticed the surprise and pain in his expression. He shook his head in disbelief as if he couldn’t believe it.
“First. . . you lied about him kissing you to defend him, and then—every day, you persisted with the lies. I can’t even tell what hurts more, Cari.”
