I'm relieved that I made the effort to see someone rather than continue isolating myself. After an hour inside, Sam and Tyrone greeted me outside the room. Sam holding two cups of hot chocolate and Tyrone carrying a transparent handbag filled with items.
“Hey, how was it?” Sam came up to me first and offered me the other cup.
“Familiar. Aside from not being a kid anymore, everything is good.” I said with a sigh and took a sip of the drink afterward. “Can I talk to you privately?”
I asked Tyrone hesitantly. I didn't ask Sam for permission because talking about it in front of them would make me feel awkward. I pretty much acted as if he wasn't there but he'll understand. “If you wanna say you're thankful again, you already did, Cari.” Tyrone spoke before I could, which made him chuckle a little.
“Actually, I was going to say that she gave me a few medications which you don't have to worry about because—”
“No, it's part of the free treatment, Cari.”
“It’s too much.”
“Just let me pay for it, okay? All you have to do is go to your session and don't be late.” Sam and I arrived half an hour late because we had trouble finding the right location of the clinic. We were both terrible with directions. Luckily he has a vehicle or we'd be completely lost.
I chuckled softly, “That was us. Neither of us knows this area.”
“So, how did you meet him?” He suddenly asked then turned to look at Sam sitting on a nearby bench. I'm not really feeling comfortable enough to tell him everything since the day that I met Sam. Perhaps it's because I'm trying to forget how awful I was to him when we first met. Every time it crosses my mind, I end up feeling regretful. I'm not comfortable enough to admit that I wouldn't be here if it wasn't because of Sam. I've never been this real with myself before. And honestly, I don't feel comfortable admitting to anyone that I was so awful to the only person who truly saw me as me ever.
“Laurel. They knew each other before we ever met.” I don't want to lie to Tyrone, he's obviously not a stranger to me, especially right now.
“And you're living with him.”
“Temporarily. I'm still looking for a place outside the village.” Sam also assured me he would understand if I moved to a different place. Besides, living with him helped me a lot. It made me feel less alone compared to when I was living in my own house.
“If you want, I can recommend you a place. It's my cousin's and she's looking for someone to move in. Here.” He handed me his phone to show pictures of a standard apartment space. The bedroom seems large though. There's four doors that leads to the bedroom, bathroom, storage space and there's even a small backyard on the back and it looks really cute. “The place comes with some furnitures too. She used to travel a lot that's why she rarely came home. And it's all in perfect condition. I'm actually helping her find someone to settle.”
“And it's close to our home. Mom and Dad would be happy to have you some time.” He added then gave me a smile.
The apartment looks really nice. I couldn't believe that I almost like the place just by viewing empty spaces on a screen. I've been looking at other places too but this one is starting to get me excited. Which is surprising since I'm almost comfortable staying with Sam. “I’ll let you know, Tyrone. I still have to talk to Sam about this.”
“Sure, anytime.” When we came back, Sam no longer had his drink and I hadn't even taken four sips of mine. As the three of us headed for the exit, Tyrone kept telling me how his parents already miss me. I usually get annoyed hearing anyone talk about family stuff but good thing I like his. He also mentioned that tomorrow is his parents’ anniversary and I can bring anyone to the party. Although parties aren't really my thing, I’ve been getting a bit better with it. Having a job that requires attending events and a bestfriend who’s always up for it makes it tough to escape. “Wear anything you want, it's not that formal. And please, dont get lost again.”
I laughed in response and we finally went our separate ways. As soon as we got into the car, I let out a deep sigh, “Why were you unusually quiet back there?” I said and turned to look at Sam.
“What do you mean?” He gazed at me in confusion. He never said a thing to me or even looked at Tyrone back there. Not a single ‘thank you’ came from him for Tyrone's efforts to me. I'm just paying attention to him to distract myself from Sam’s silent presence next to us. It didn't seem like him.
“Don’t act right now like you don't know what I'm talking about.”
“It’s nothing, Cari.”
“I don't think it's time to go unless you tell me.” He took a moment to gather his thoughts and then cleared his throat.
“It’s—I-I know nothing about your friend there and now we're suddenly going to a party that I'm pretty sure we're going. I can see that you wanna go.”
“Well, I already told you that he's part of my childhood—”
“Other than that, there's nothing else. Look, it's just new to me, okay?”
"Then get to know him. Do it tomorrow at the party and you'll see why he's a good friend.” I placed my hands on his arms to reassure him. “It's the least I can do to show my appreciation for what he's doing, I guess that's not so bad at all.”
The next couple of minutes it started raining heavily. We both received alerts on our phones warning of strong winds and continuous rain until tonight. But it didn't prevent us from hitting the road. Sam can't stand driving in the rain because it makes him nauseous. I turned on the radio but couldn't get a better signal “This is why I hate driving in the rain, the radio signal is always bad. It literally destroys everything.” Sam said, then turned off the radio.
“It’s just rain, stop overreacting.”
“It traumatized me. When I was a kid I witnessed someone died on an accident, Mom let me go outside to play despite the rain. Something crashed right in front of me. I thought it was just nothing until I saw a man's body coming out through the windshield.” He took a quick pause. “There was blood all over the place.”
“Sorry. I thought you're only one of those people that hates it.” I could see the sadness in his eyes. Right now there's a growing hatred with the rain’s unfortunate timing of making him witness something like that. I chose not to talk about it anymore and thought about something else in my mind. It’s a crazy idea but right now I wanna take a risk with him. “Pull over here.”
“What?”
“Just do it.” When he finally did I turned to face him. I find his confused look funny at this moment. I stepped out of his car and let the rain pour over me.
“Cari, what the hell are you doing?” Sam quickly rushed out of his vehicle to cover me with his umbrella and jacket. Despite seeing the panic in his eyes, I only gave him a smile. He figured that this smile is something else. It's happier and it shows that anything is possible with him by my side. It feels like a movie moment where everything begins to slow down.
“I know bad things happen to us, but I've realized that facing them shows how brave we are. I've accepted now that bad things won't stop happening, Sam.” I held back my tears in front of him when I only meant to make him feel it's okay. And that's how I really feel now.
“Really? We're actually doing this during a heavy rain?” He released everything and held his head as if in disbelief.
“Yes! And we'll do this whenever we want!” Our voices are becoming louder as the rain starts to get stronger. “I'd repeat this a million times with you if it means we forget about everything, if that's okay!” I raised my voice louder with both of my hands in his face.
"I guess that's alright because I'm not so scared of it now!” We both burst into laughter while holding each other. “I love you, Carilee Sinclair!” People driving over us might think we're stupid to do this in the middle of the rain but we didn't care and started kissing. I knew in this moment my heart won't stop jumping because of happiness and never in my life I felt so contended. So I'm not gonna feel embarrassed like I always do because things like this doesn't happen all the time.
