I'm aware that this matter is for them to handle. I know I shouldn't involve myself since it doesn't concern me. I'm not trying to insert myself. I would never push myself into something that doesn't benefit me. But over the past few months, I've been working hard to resolve things for my peace of mind.
As I was packing away clothes the last few weeks that don't fit me anymore due to weight gain, I got the idea to try a DIY by altering the sleeves and pairing them with other garments to loosen them up. When things don’t turn out perfectly, I get so frustrated that it keeps me up all night. I wanted to make it work because those clothes are a part of my identity, and it feels weird to give them to people I don’t know. As a kid, I had some experience doing DIY projects, not with toys but with paint, strong glue, and all sorts of things a child shouldn’t mess with, especially my dad's tools. I used to think that school didn’t provide me with any real knowledge and only heightened my anxiety as a kid. I ended up teaching myself some pointless activities. The patched clothes didn’t work out for me and given my short patience, Sam ended up purchasing me new ones. And then there was one occasion when Austin and Laurel had a major argument over a dog they had just brought home. He claimed he has an allergy to animals and can't stand dogs. Laurel called me in tears and vented about him endlessly. Sam and I couldn’t be intimate due to Laurel's constant chatter. I took the initiative to start a group chat for the two of them, aiming to get them talking again. Laurel was just literally in the bedroom and Austin was outside on the balcony in their own home. I can't tell which is worse, enduring long phone calls with Laurel or having extended chats with them. Since they're my only friends, I wouldn't want to reduce my circle if they separate. It was pointless since both of them have their own shortcomings.
A sudden impulse to fix everything. “Are you certain there's nothing more I can help with, Irish?” Eleanor paused at the door and asked Irish before leaving.
“Head home. My driver's just waiting right outside. Goodnight, Eleanor.” She gave us her goodnight before heading out of the studio. Ivan had to leave two hours ago because his mom is in the hospital. He mentioned he's the oldest of his siblings and works multiple part-time jobs to support them. He's a good kid. “Thank you for doing this.”
Irish came up to me, held both my hands and looked me straight in the eye. She looks worn out, her hair is a mess and her makeup appears smudged and tired. “I really hope my photographer returns soon. I need him for unexpected photoshoots like this.” She then laughed softly.
“Eleanor told me you got rid of him.” I spoke to her in a soft tone while Sam set up the equipment we own inside the bags. She inhaled deeply, reluctant to say anything since she knew I had caught her in a lie. “That's fine, but why did you feel the need to lie?”
She released my hands and turned to watch Sam, who was nearly finished packing the equipment into the bags. I can tell he’s tired, given that he’s taking on most of the responsibilities here, and we’ll have more work to tackle when we get home. “I’d prefer to keep it to myself when you’re around.”
“Were you hoping to spend more time together with him?” I asked her immediately. The expression on her face clearly reflects guilt. It felt as if I caught her giving me a quick answer. It's clear her response is yes, I don't need to be a genius to see that. “He’s right there, you two should talk.”
She stared at me as if seeking for answers. “Are you okay with us talking?”
“That’s what I've been trying to tell him.”
“Forget it, he doesn’t even have the courage to look at me.” She approached the nearby table where her belongings were and gathered some items into her bag.
“You left, Irish. What do you think he's feeling now that you're here again?” I used my regular voice and tone, making sure Sam was listening. She gradually turned to face me, her expression filled with disbelief.
