Shrek 2 (OC Insert)

Rotten Apple Bar

The scene changes to a hooded man on horseback arrives at The Poison Apple, a ramshackle tavern. The man is King Harold in disguise. He dismounts his horse and enters the tavern. He knocks on the door and an eye peeks out.

Cyclops: "Oh... uh come on in, Your Majesty."

Cyclops opens the door and lets King Harold in. The tavern is a seedy gathering of misfits. Pirates and witches sit at the tables. Two trees arm wrestle and two dwarfs fight. Someone is playing darts with throwing axes. Captain Hook plays the piano and sings. King Harold tries to hide his identity with his cloak and walks over to the bar. Next to him, the Headless Horseman downs a drink and burps. King Harold tries to get the attention of the bartender.

King Harold: "*clears his throat* Um, excuse me?"

He turns to look down at a feminine frog sipping a martini on a stool.

Miss Frog: "Hey. Do I know you?"

King Harold: "Uh, no, you must be mistaking me for someone else. Uh... excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister."

The bartender turns around and leans on the bar, glaring at King Harold. It is Doris, otherwise known as the Ugly Stepsister.

King Harold: "Ah! There you are. Right. You see, I... I need to have someone taken care of."

Doris: "*deep voice* Who's the guy?"

King Harold: "Well, he's not a guy, per se. Um... he's an ogre."

The whole tavern gasps and Captain Hook stops playing.

Doris: "Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fella who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... he don't like to be disturbed."

King Harold: "Where could I find him?"

King Harold knocks on a door and lets himself in. The room is completely dark, except for the moonlight shining through a window. A shadowy figure sits with their boots on a table.

King Harold: "H-Hello?"

A pair of bright green eyes appear from the darkness.

???: "Who dares enter my room?"

King Harold: "Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to about an... ogre problem?"

???: "You are told correct, but for this I charge a great deal of money."

King Harold: "Would... this be enough?"

King Harold tosses a small sack onto the table. Out from the shadows, a sword slices open the sack and gold coins spill out onto the table.

???: "Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services... Your Majesty. Just tell me where I can find this ogre."

The scene fades as Shrek and Fiona lay in bed, which is just big enough to fit them both. Fiona is fast asleep while Shrek is awake, tossing and turning. He notices an ornate clock that features a prince and princess kissing, and then turns onto his back. He then stares at a poster of a handsome man named Sir Justin stuck to the bottom of the canopy above them. Shrek gets out of bed and looks out the window and stares at the Far Far Away sign. He goes over to the fireplace to warm up, but notices Fiona's childhood toys on the mantelpiece. One is a figure of a knight, who is about to slay a fallen ogre. Shrek picks up a toy princess that resembles Fiona and it speaks.

Princess Toy: "Dear knight, I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude."

Shrek puts the toy back and then looks over at a small chest on a table in the corner of the room. He opens it to see a book inside, but the box start playing music. He quickly shuts it and looks over to make sure Fiona is still sleeping. He quickly opens the box and snatches the book out from it. He opens it, and Fiona's voice reads it in his head.

Fiona: "Dear Diary. Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset."

He turns the page to the next entry in the diary.

Fiona: "Dad says I'm going away for a while. Must be like some finishing school or something."

He scoffs and turns the page.

Fiona: "Mom says that when I'm old enough, my Handsome Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family!"

Turns the page.

Fiona: "And we'll all live happily ever after!"

With his mouth open, Shrek turns to the next page.

Fiona: "Mrs. Fiona Charming."

He frantically turns the pages which all read aloud "Mrs. Fiona Charming". He is surprised by a knock at the door, and sets the diary down. He opens the door to see King Harold standing in the hall.

King Harold: "Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Shrek: "No, no. I was just reading a, uh...a scary book."

King Harold: "I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behavior earlier."

Shrek: "Okay?"

King Harold: "I don't know what came over me. Do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over?"

Shrek: "Look, Your Majesty, I just..."

King Harold: "Please, call me Dad."

Shrek: "Dad. We both acted like ogres. Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other."

King Harold: "Excellent idea! I was actually hoping you might join me for a morning hunt. A little...father-son time? I know it would mean the world to Fiona."

Shrek stares back at Fiona, still asleep, then sighs.

King Harold: "Shall we say 7:30 by the old oak?"