Shrek 2 (OC Insert)

The Love Potion

Fairy Godmother and Reginald stand waiting inside the room.

King Harold: "Fairy Godmother. Reginald."

Fairy Godmother: "Ugh, you'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold."

King Harold: "Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Reginald."

Reginald: "Umm, F-Y-I, not my fault."

Fairy Godmother: "Oh, no, no, of course it's not, dear."

Reginald: "I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre? Prince would have been here in my place, but that idiotic brother of mine is missing!"

King Harold: "No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay?"

Fairy Godmother/Reginald: "What?!"

King Harold: "I mean you can't force someone to fall in love!"

Fairy Godmother: "Oh, I beg to differ. I do it all the time."

Fairy Godmother pulls out a red vial and hands it to King Harold. Shrek is listening in from the window, outside and out of sight.

Fairy Godmother: "Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Reginald."

King Harold: "Umm... no."

Fairy Godmother: "What did you say?"

King Harold: "I... I... I can't. I... I won't do it."

Fairy Godmother: "Oh, yes, you will. If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can take it away just as easily."

Fairy Godmother sticks her wand in King Harold's face and it begins to glow.

Fairy Godmother: "Is that what you want? Is it?"

King Harold: "No."

Fairy Godmother: "Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Reggie's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. You know he's all high in the front, he can never get to the back. You always need someone to do the back of your hair."

Reginald: "Oh! Thank you, Mother."

Donkey: "Mother?!"

The three look out the window to see Shrek, Donkey, Lillo and Puss standing at the window.

Lillo: "Um... look! A talking horse!"

Fairy Godmother: "The ogre!"

Outside by the entrance, a pair of guards are interrogating the Headless Horseman. Shrek, Lillo and Puss ride Donkey and sprint past them. Fairy Godmother comes flying after them.

Fairy Godmother: "Stop them! Thieves! Bandits! Stop them!"

Fairy Godmother tries to zap them as the guards start running after them. The scene flashes as fireworks go off in the evening sky. The red carpet is rolled out in front of the palace and festivities are set up. Crowds of people are gathered by the red carpet as celebrities walk down it.

Announcer: "Well, the abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus here at tonight's Far, Far Away Royal Ball Blowout! The coaches are lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them like Miss Muffet's curds and whey!"

Joan Rivers talks to the camera with loudspeaker in hand.

Joan: "Everyone who's anyone has turned out to honor Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek and, oh my, the outfits look gorgeous! Look! Hansel and Gretel!"