The Makeup | Five Hargreeves x Reader Story

ONE

                              FIVE'S POV

Is it possible to stop loving someone I fell for so hard—someone who I can't stop thinking about even for a minute after three goddamn years?

It'd been four years since I lost Y/n, and not one day went by without me thinking about her . Images of her constantly crossed my mind. Her face was so angelic-like. She was so naturally beautiful. Her big, luminous, onyx-shade eyes that she would sheepishly cast upward from her thick, long lashes to meet my gaze. Lips she tended to nibble on with her teeth, which had her long, waves draped over her shoulders, caressing her soft skin that felt so delicate underneath my fingertips. The sound of her gentle, graceful chuckle. Fuck. I thought of her when I ate, showered, worked, and even slept. Every fucking minute of my existence, the image of her innocent, beautiful face would always somehow manage to weave into my dreams. It'd driven me crazy.

It's been four years since I lost her, and damn... it still hurts just the same.

I sat alone in my apartment, lit merely by the moonlight sweeping through the large window encasing Manhattan. I sipped my whiskey, lost in memories of Y/n. The sound of rain tapping against the windowpane echoed in my ears. I traced the rim of my whiskey glass; its brown liquid was my only escape. The only way to escape the ghosts of my past and the pain of my present, even if for just a moment.

I lost my mind after I heard she had a car crashed. No words could describe the excruciating pain I felt. It left my heart broken into pieces. Tore my soul apart. I had no idea such pain existed.

Now, I knew.

I ran from hospital to hospital across New York. Searching for her like a madman. Only to realize they lied to me. They. Y/n and Zachary. They deceived me to buy more time to run away. Disappear.

Days turned into weeks. Weeks into months. And I still kept pursuing her. Relentlessly.

In vain.

She was nowhere to be found. As if she had gone to the ground.

I felt like I was losing the ground beneath my feet. As if I was falling down a dark abyss. The depths of hell. Over and over again. Every single goddamn day of my wretched existence. The days started blurring. Each one was a broken tape on repeat.

I wanted to scream, to let the pain growing inside of me out, but no sound would come out of my mouth. I wanted to cry, but no tears would well up my eyes. I felt numb. With every day that had gone by without knowing where she was—if she was safe, alive—I lost a piece of me. The day she left, a piece of me died. I died inside. I merely existed. Existed only to find her.

Did my love fade after days, weeks, months, and eventually years without her?

No.

This love intoxicated me like a drug.

I saw her face before my eyes every goddamn second of every goddamn day. Whenever I heard her name, my heartbeat accelerated. It felt like my heart would burst out of my chest and break into millions of pieces all over again. Always the same. Like a never-ending cycle.

The pain of losing her was still there. It never left.

Damn. I never thought I could fall for a woman this hard. I lost my mind for her, that's for sure.

Had she felt the same? I guess I'd never know.

She left, making sure she would leave no trace after her. And maybe, I should've accepted this for how it was. Perhaps she had moved on with somebody else. Perhaps, with him. Zachary. After all, he was her first, unrequited love, her first boyfriend. Too bad he was also a two-faced bastard I once considered my best friend. My brother. I helped him when he was at his lowest, trusted him with my life, made him my right-hand man and he betrayed me the first chance he got.