Ideal Woman (18+) MJ Romance

Fifteen: Am I Good Enough?

We went out to a restaurant with the boys. The loved this one in particular because of the nice choices of the kids menu. Michael got the top floor bought for the whole evening just for us. Earlier, we went to this huge inside trampoline park and it had everything even carnival food.

I watched from a distance at how much fun Michael and his nephews were having. I paused just from playing earlier as I took out my phone and wrote some small notes. The notes consisted of a story telling I was writing for my own personal use and of course realizing my own reality. "Am I Good Enough?"

A question that played a role in my mind for years.. not having siblings or a mom and father to go to. Or maybe even your only known grandparents. Such a sad case for an incredible girl on her way to found peace right? Some might think because I'm with Michael and using my set writing skills to build a potentially wonderful book that would make headlines or break a record would satisfy me but it's not.

I feel like him paying me a million dollars with the benefit of traveling around the world just to write for him, I was doing it just to be with him and not for the money. Some may think it's only about the money and it wasn't. And I'm not desperate but being able to call someone and describe the happiness and excitement of this opportunity is what set me back.

I sat down at the bench, body guards around but mere distance, I just consumed my thoughts. I wiped my eyes as small tears crept around. Wiping and putting on my shades, I almost regretted it. Regretting holding in the pain I feel deep down because now, it has yet to come out and I didn't want Michael to be thrown off because of my feelings. He worked very hard on what he does and he really didn't need a set back. This is the seventh show and every last one of them been sold out.

I looked up, the happiness and the bond that all of them have was so genuine and so kind. Very sweet. Moments later, I hear them walking in my direction. I cleared my throat and tried to act like nothing was wrong and brought my happiest smile back.

"Yeah I'm hungry too!"

"Me too!"

"And me three!"

"Hey are you hungry too?" I smiled and nodded. Then the boys all ran up to me and gave me a hug. I felt a little more warmer afterwards, this was the best feeling in the world. "Where y'all want to go to eat?" I asked.

"Coogee!!" They screamed and Michael looked at me with a smile on his face. They jumped up and down then broke danced around. Coogee was the best restaurant for adults and the kids. They had a huge play area and awesome kids menu. So I was assuming that they been there before because of their excitement.

We went out to the restaurant with the boys. They loved this one in particular because of the nice choices of the kids menu. Michael got the whole top area restaurant bought out for the whole evening just for us. Earlier, we went to this huge inside trampoline park and it had everything even carnival food.

The boys couldn't wait to eat their food and then play in the kids pit. We looked on the menu plus helping them to see what they wanted. After ordering we said grace and then we dug in. After a few eats they insisted that they wanted to play and we let them go.  I kept my best composure and my fake giggle up until I felt some small tension.

"Chasity a minute?" Michael I insisted we talked on the balcony and the guards were near keeping  an eye on the kids.

"What's wrong, you seem off?" He said folding his arms up and furrowing his eye brows a little bit. "What makes something wrong with me? I'm okay. " I said smiling then I looked away. "I'm fine, Michael."

"We will talk later." He said cradling his hand against my back. He moved my hair a little and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "Come on let's go." He said. He opened the door for me and we went back to the table.