Of unsound mind.

Part 16

I found you.

Mom and dad had one of their talks with me about my addiction and going back to that place where I met Chandler, I told them yes, I met Chandler there, but like I told them I don't have an addiction. Dad said if I let Doctor Michaels help me, I could get through this, I told them they're not listening to me, mom told me to calm down if I took my meds it will help.

I told her those pills don't make me feel like myself, and I don't have a sex addiction, dad asked me than why do I keep going back to that place, and don't lie and say I don't he knows what's on my credit card bill. I told him it's not what he thinks, dad said than tell them so that they can understand, I told them I want to confront my attacker, mom said to stay away from that place before I get hurt again, she knows that boys like me want to feel free and be around other people. Mom just say it, I'm gay and stop with this other people shit.

Okay Keith, your gay, but first you're my son, baby we love you and don't want to see you hurt again, promise us you won't go back to that place.

Mom, Doctor Michaels says I have to get closure, I don't know how I can get it, if I don't confront the person who did this to me, but I'll stay away from that place. Mom hugged me and said go back and see Doctor Michaels, and maybe he can change my meds promise her I'll go back, I said she's making me promise a lot, give me the rest of the month and if nothing changes, I'll go and see him, dad said alright one month, and a man keeps his word.

I told them I'm going to meet up with Chandler, mom looked at me, I told her it has nothing to do with sex, or me being raped, or a sex addiction which I don't have we're just friends and can talk to each other. Dad asked does Chandler tell me what they talk about, I told him, I know about why he sees him, I told them I'll get something to eat while I'm out, mom said that fast food isn't healthy for me, I told her I'm sure when she was my age, they ate stuff like that, and I left.

I'll keep my promise about seeing Doctor Michaels, but I have to go back to that place, I stopped at an ATM and got cash so that dad wouldn't know I've been to that place, and then I went there, only this time I didn't get a room just a locker. This is the time that bastard was here the time he raped me, I spent a few hours there and didn't see him, so I got dressed and waited in the parking lot and watched who went in. Another hour went by, and I left, I did this for two weeks so far, no sign of that bitch.

Mom told me maybe I should get away for a while, and think about college, I told her I can't go away right now, she said is it because of Chandler or me still having it on my mind about confronting that person who hurt me. I told her it's both, I really like Chandler and I can't get closure, not until I tell that bastard how I feel about what he did to me.

Mom said if I never went to that place none of this would have happened, finally you said it mom, don't you think I know it was my fault, dad came into the room and said what's all the shouting about. I asked dad does he feel the same way, he asked what I am talking about.

I told him if I had never gone to that place our family wouldn't be torn apart, dad said it happened we can't change that all we can do is heal from it, I told him that's what I'm trying to do, don't you two get it it's my fault for what happened to me. Dad said yes, I went to that place, but no one has the right to violet me and whoever it was he wants to kill them.

That was the first time I ever heard my dad say anything like that, tears went down his face, dad walked up to me and hugged me, I told him I'm sorry for being gay none of this would've happened to me if I were like other guys.

 Dad told me don't ever be sorry for who I am, and no matter what they love me and in time things will be better, I told him I have to meet Chandler, mom said she loves me, and I walked out of the room, I got in the car and cried, I drove off I have to find that bitch once in for all, I went to that place and sat outside watching who went in.