Of unsound mind.

Part 18

A very loving weekend.

The weekend with Chandler was wonderful, he showed me just how much he loves me, but I have to be honest with him, he'll probably hate me when I tell him what I think the letter will say from the health department, that's why I just wanted to be with him because this maybe my last time with him.

Chandler came back into the room, he said he's glad he doesn't have a class until one, if I like we can make love again, tears went down my face.

I walked over to Keith and held him as I asked him did I say something wrong, he looked at me and said I say everything right and he's glad we had this weekend together. Keith, you act as if we're not going to see each other after today, tell me did you see the envelope on the dresser. He looked over and said he didn't notice it until I just mentioned it, I told him I got tested and it had nothing to do with him being raped. I just wanted to know, I didn't open the letter because I was afraid of what it might say, I got the letter on Thursday I just couldn't open it, but I'd like to open it now with you, so you might not want to be with me if the results are positive.

Keith told me no matter what he wants to be with me, and he hopes I'll feel the same about him, because he got tested before he left for his trip, after seeing Blake in the bathhouse he had to be tested again he said he was tested a month after it happened, he was scared to tell anyone what happened to him, but he ended up telling his parents and they made him get tested, he was negative but who knows now. I told him we'll deal with what's in our letters together.

I got the letter and sat next to Keith, we read the results together, I'm negative, I held Keith and cried, he said he hopes his results will be the same, I told him if he wasn't the first time I'm sure he isn't this time, I told him let's get dressed and go to his house and find out, and like he told me no matter what the results are I still want to be with him, I'm in love with him.

Chandler you say that now, but if I am could you really be with someone who's sick, he said stop saying that, and the only way I'll know is when we go to my house and find out, he got up and started getting dressed, I did too, we walked out of the house. Chandler got in his car, and I mine I sat in my car, Chandler got out of his car and walked over to me and said move over he'll drive me home, I slid over Chandler got in and hugged me he said we're in this together.

 He started the car and we headed to my house, when we got their mom's car was out front, we went into the house, Mildred met us at the door saying welcome home boy, she hugged me, I introduced her to Chandler, she said she'd know him anywhere the way I talked about him, he said nice meeting her.

I asked her is my mother here, she said yes and my father, there in his study, mom and dad came into the room, mom looked at me and said she doesn't want to be rude, but Chandler has to leave we have family business to discuss. I told her Chandler's not leaving we have to check on something together and it's important to me, dad told me to go on upstairs we'll talk about this later, I took Chandler's hand, we went up to my room, I noticed the letter was on my bed and taped up, I told Chandler my parents opened the letter they know already, he said find out my results, I gave the letter to him, he read it, tears went down his face.

Oh God I'm positive, I started to run out of the room and Chandler stopped me, he said remember we both said no matter what we would be there for each other, I told him that's before we found out I'm sick. He said he loves me, and he's going to be here for me, and the results said I'm undetectable, I told him what difference does that make, I have it, I'm just glad I had safe sex with him, I would never forgive myself if I infected him.

Keith your parents can tell you the difference between just being positive and being undetectable, I held him, as we cried together, I do love him and I'm going to be there for him no matter what.

There's a knock on the door, we turned around, Keith's parents are standing in the doorway, Keith let me go and ran to his mom as he hugged her and said he's going to die, just when things were getting better for him. She told him he's not going to die for a long time, he asked her what I told him about being positive and undetectable.

Chandler can you leave now and let us talk about this, Keith said no he needs Chandler here with him, Steven said he thinks Chandler should stay and here this too, I told him alright we walked to the bed and sat down. Baby what is meant by being undetectable, it means that there's is so little virus in the blood that a lab test can't measure it, being undetectable doesn't stop you from living a longer and healthy life, we found you a doctor who specializes in HIV.

You have an appointment this afternoon, he'll get you on the right meds, but son you have to keep taking the treatment, and not stop like you did with the meds Doctor Michaels prescribed for you, and speaking of Doctor Michaels you have an appointment with him on Wednesday morning.

Steven told Chandler if he's really going to be there for Keith, he has to get educated about what's going on with Keith, and talk to his doctor about getting on Prep, does he know what that is. Chandler said yes, he knows, and he will be there for Keith, he loves him. I told Chandler if he's really serious he has to keep seeing Steven so he can talk about how he feels about what's going on with Keith, he said he will and he'd like to go to the Doctor with Keith, I told him we'll all go.

Keith took Chandler's hand, they left the room, I told Steven I really hope Chandler is strong mentally to deal with what's going on with our son, he said Chandler is a lot stronger than when he first came to see him, I told him only time will tell. He walked up to me and held me, I want my baby to be alright, I just hope he doesn't go back to wanting to hurt himself again. Steven said this time it's different he has Chandler and us really understanding him.

Keith wiped my tears, I told him I'm sorry for crying, I just love him so much, he said I heard what his mom said he's got a long time before he dies not unless he gets hit by a bus or something, I asked him how he can joke about something like that.

 Chandler the only thing that's keeping me from crying right now is that I have you, please don't leave me, he said he won't and maybe we should get married we can live in the old house in the woods. I told him I don't want him to marry me because he feels sorry for me.

 Keith right now I do feel sorry for you, but I want to marry you because I love you, but we won't tell our parents if you say yes, he said he loves me to, but, I put my hand over his mouth, I told him no buts we're of age and we can get married, he said he'll marry me, I told him we'll do it this week. And I'll talk to my doctor about being put on Prep, Keith said are we doing the right thing, I told him yes, because we love each other and that beats HIV or anything else.

 Later we went to his appointment, and the doctor told him what he needs to do, and Keith is very healthy, he gave us condoms, he even put me on Prep after he educated me on what it is and what it does. After that the Richards took us out to lunch, and Mrs. Richards made both of us eat, she told Keith he has to always eat the doctor told him that and she'll get him other food supplements too.

After lunch we went back to their house, we spent the rest of the day talking and educating ourselves on what's going on with Keith and how it affects me as well.

 On Wednesday Keith saw his therapist, and I saw his dad and we talked, he said I really love Keith, I told him with everything in me, and what's in him, he told me I'm much stronger and Keith really needs me, if I feel like I can't deal with it let him know before I hurt Keith, he's afraid without me Keith may want to just end his life, I told him I'll never hurt him, I promise.

 He said sometimes we make promises that sometimes we can't keep, I told him this promise I will because I love his son, he said fair enough, I need to tell my parent's what's going on, I told him I'm twenty if I feel the need to do that I will.

Thursday Keith and I got a marriage license and on Monday we were married, we didn't tell anyone, we spent our honeymoon in the house in the woods, I just asked God to let Keith live.