Of unsound mind.

Part 20

Dear God.

I looked out the window and stared at the woods where my son's sleep, at first, I thought they were just playing house, but there in love. Chandler surprised me with all he's been through he wants to be with Keith, not going to say I was comfortable with the HIV thing, but I'm educated enough to know what's going on.

It's been a month since they moved into that house, they come here to  the  main house for just about all of their meals, and they go and see Keith's parents too,they're  a great  support, not just for the  boys,but James and I  too. What we're going through and what they're going through is a hard pill to swallow, but we lost a son and now we gained another one with Keith.

 I got on my knees and prayed to God to watch over our family's and hold us up, bless Keith, and we claim healing in the name of Jesus, Amen. I heard Amen again, James is standing over me, I got up and we kissed, he said all we can do is put it in God's hands he was scared when Manny told him he was marrying Jamie.

But Chandler is dealing with more because of what Keith is dealing with, there so young, and this lifestyle can be very scary with people who want to hurt you because of who you love, James said again all we can do is pray for them and support them, he wonders what the boys are doing, I looked at him, I said the same thing we were doing in our second month of marriage.

 I told James it's time we thought about a new member of the family, Manny has his family, and our Chandler is starting his family. James said OKAY we can start looking to adopt a child, I told him but for now we can get back in bed and just do you know what. Bae said that we can do, and what he's going to do to me will take my mind off of Chandler and Keith.

(My prayer for my husband)

After a night of making love, I watched Chandler sleeping, I thanked God because he loves me just as my husband loves me no matter what.

I got out of bed and got on my knees, heavenly father, I thank you for another day, you scrutinize my heart and know my every thought, even every intention, you know why I laugh, why I cry, why I worry which I shouldn't. You know why I'm troubled, in moments of sadness, you are my comfort, in the storm.

You are my strength, in loneliness, you are my companion in despair you are my salvation in all things, in your son Jesus name I pray Amen. Oh, and God heal me and help my husband deal with things as well, we love you, Lord. I turned and Chandler is looking at me, he said he's glad I know God, and he will heal me, he kissed me and said good morning husband, I smiled and said good morning to him, Chandler asked me what I feel like doing today. I smiled at him, chin, I told him I want to get back in bed, bae asked me am I alright, I told him I'm fine and please don't keep asking me that.

He said OKAY give him time he'll stop, I told him I want what for breakfast what I had last night, he said a sausage pizza for breakfast, I said very funny he knows the meat I want; we got what we needed and had sex, it's nothing like doing it in the morning. Especially with someone who loves and cares about you, I pray to God that Chandler, and I make it to see old age together that would be my one wish in life.

Next month I'll be starting college, and another new adventure will start in my new life with my husband. We both are still seeing our therapist about our issues, and it's helping me, I'm not ready to forgive Blake for what he did to me, but in time I'll heal.

Chandler told me Blake is gone, and I'm here, I have to live and not give him any power not even in death, that's why I love him.