Of unsound mind.

Part 10

The after effect of Pierre James

After I was shot by my son, we arrived at the hospital, I got ex-rays and stiches, I told the police what happened, my family was at the hospital along with Liz, she said thank God I'm alright, am I in any pain, I told her not the way she things, my son is dead. Dyland said in time things will be better for us, we went home, Pie said he'll run me a hot bath and he'll take care of me.

Bash called and asked me how I'm doing, I hollered I just lost my son how the fuck does he think I'm doing, I had to take a deep breath and told him I'm sorry for going off.

James it's okay Bash said as Pie came back into the room and said my bath is ready, I told Bash I'm going to get off the phone now, he said he's coming down here, I told him he doesn't have to do that. He said I'm his brother and he's coming, now get some rest and he loves me, he hung up.

I went into the bathroom and Pie started undressing me, I told babe I'm not helpless, he told me he knows that, but he's going to take care of me not another word about it.

I asked him how's he doing, he said it hurts like hell, but he has me and Chandler, as long as he has us, he'll get through this, I told him we'll get through this as a family, Chandler needs us even more. I got in the tub and Pie rubbed my shoulders and kissed the back of my neck, tears went down my face, Pie cried too, our son is gone and will never come back.

There's a knock on the bathroom door, Pie asked who it is, Chandler said can he come in, I told him yes, he came in and I did what everyone has been asking me, and that's how's he doing, Chandler said he's been having bad feelings since PJ left the family barbecue. Pie asked him what kind of feelings.

Dads I feel guilty, because at first, I didn't want PJ to go back to that place, but after what he did to me, I wished him dead, and my brother is gone and will never come back.

Chandler you were hurt, deep down you didn't mean it, son it will be alright, he said when, I told him I can't say when or how, but some day it will be, he said he'll be in PJ's room to start packing his things, I told him that can wait go and ask Liz to fix him something, he said he's not hungry and left the room.

I told Pie after we put Pierre James to rest, we should get some family counseling, what happened to our family isn't going away over night, he said I'm right and bae washed my body, after he finished, I got out of the tub and dried off and we went in the bedroom, Pie told me to rest. I told him he should do the same, he said he will first he'll take a hot shower and have Liz bring us something to eat, and don't tell him I'm not hungry he knows I didn't eat breakfast.

Pie went into the bathroom, I heard the water running, a few minutes later I heard him crying, I started to go in there, but I'll let him grieve on his own for a while. PJ is gone and we have to deal with his consequences, our family is hurting.

 Maria came into the room, she said she was in ATL, Ekim called her, she asked me am I alright, I told her as well as I can be, but Pierre is in the bathroom he needs her, she walked to the bathroom door and knocked on it, Pie said I didn't have to knock come in, Maria walked in the door.

I was sitting on the toilet, I looked up and it's my mom, I wiped my face, mom walked over and said let it out baby it's okay to cry as she held me. Mom my son is dead, and I feel so guilty because deep down I wanted him to just go away, and now he is. Mom told me to get that out of my head, PJ chose to do the things he did, he tried to kill grandfather and James, PJ couldn't survive being in jail so maybe this was an act of God. She can't explain God's ways.

Mom asked me have we thought about getting away, I told her maybe after we bury PJ, and James wants us to get some family counseling, she said and prayer but do what we need to do to deal with this, and she doesn't want any of us feeling guilty. She said she'll talk to grandfather about PJ being buried on the family compound, like the rest of our family will be.

Mom wiped my face, she told me to take a hot bath and see about my husband and son, she'll check on Chandler before she leaves, mom kissed me and walked out of the bathroom, I know I should be there for Chandler and James, but for now I need to pray and cry.

Maria came back into the room, I asked her how's Pie doing, she said just let him cry, she told me to try and rest, she'll check on Chandler and we all need to eat, she'll tell Liz to bring up something, I told her thanks, she said we're here son's and that's what a mother does, now rest, she walked out of the room. I got out of bed and walked into the bathroom, Pie is in the shower, I opened the door and he turned and looked at me with tears in his eyes, he came out and I held him as he cried, I cried with him.

I'm sorry James, I'm getting you all wet, he said so what, we're in this together, we made a vow when we got married for better or worse, I told my husband this is as worse as it can get, having to bury a child. We got dried off and went into the bedroom, we got into bed, Liz brought us something to eat, she told us she's hurting too, but she has to take care of us, she said Chandler is in the kitchen with Maria she got him to eat something, she said if we need anything just call, she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

James told me to eat, I said I don't feel like it, but I'll try, and I want him to do the same, after we ate as much as we could we held each other, later Chandler came into the room, Pie told him to come here, he got in bed with us and my baby cried on Pies shoulders, I rubbed my son's back and told him it's okay let it out. Chandler slept with us like he did when he was a baby, God help us heal.