Solace

|33|longing

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NIDHI

"Nidhi and Vaibhav, I'll drop you both. Besides, he's drunk," Meesha offered as we stood in the parking lot after dinner, bidding our farewells.

"It's absolutely okay, I'm not that drunk," Vaibhav replied, glancing at me.

"No, Vaibhav, you shouldn't take that risk," Arun interjected.

"And I have the driver as well; it would be more convenient," Meesha added, casting a glance at Vaibhav, who then looked at me. While I met his gaze.

"Arun, I can drive," I interrupted, ending the conversation altogether.

"Do you have your license?" he asked.

"Yes, I do," I replied confidently.

"Are you sure?" Vaibhav asked, stepping closer to me.

"Vaibhav, I'm sure," I asserted, taking the keys from his hand.

I shot a penetrating glance at Meesha, conveying that I was fully aware of her intentions and she better leave. She returned my gaze, her eyes unwavering until I took the driver's seat. I was proficient in driving and had ample practice.

Even if I weren't, I would have preferred taking a cab over accompanying her.

An hour later, we were ensconced in the car, with me at the helm. I would have much preferred hailing a cab over enduring Meesha's company. She always seemed to contrive reasons to be near my husband.

She must be approaching thirty, surely she should be thinking about settling down-why can't she simply marry and move on?

A rational woman would do precisely that, but evidently, she lacks that rationality.

Suddenly, it began to rain, much to my delight, as the weather had been oppressively humid. However, Vaibhav's gaze unsettled me; he was incessantly staring at me. What could he be contemplating?

Did he wish to consummate our marriage?

I had always envisioned that, if it were to happen, it would be borne out of love, a moment when I genuinely yearned to be loved by my beloved. Yet, it seems that's not my fate. The last thing I desired tonight was to engage in such intimacy while he was inebriated.

I scarcely remember what transpired that night when Priya and I were intoxicated. What if he forgets that anything happened, or worse, that he was the one who did something?

Abruptly, the song changed, and the new tune was no improvement. The lyrics seemed to echo our predicament, though they were laced with elements of love.

Tere dohare badan men sil jaaungi re
Jab karawat lega chhil jaaungi re
Sang le jaaunga

Teri meri angani mangani
Ang sng laagi sangani, sang le jaaun
O pihu re...

O saathi re, din dube na..
Aa chal din ko roken Dhup ke pichhe dauden Chhaanw chhue na...

Does love genuinely exist within the confines of marriage, or do people merely transgress that boundary in moments of passion, as we might tonight?

A frisson of unease coursed down my spine as I recalled the way he surreptitiously observed me during dinner. A shiver ran through me whenever our fingers grazed, or when our eyes locked in an inadvertent gaze.