Solace

|45|bliss

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***

Her words, her sobs, each pained cry pierced my heart, as if it would physically start bleeding.

I wished there was a way—a path, a direction—that I could follow to help her, to end her suffering. A way through which I could take her pain, feel it myself, and extinguish it, so she no longer feels even a shred of hurt. So the only thing she would feel is happiness.

Now I truly understood what she meant when she said she didn't believe in love. I wouldn't either if I were in her place. She was still sobbing, though now silent, the aftereffects of crying leaving her exhausted. She cried as if she had been holding it in for years.

I still remember my father's last words, whispered to me: "Take care." And that's what I've been doing ever since—taking care of every person in my family with every last shred of my strength and courage.

Our shared condition dawned on her, and she looked at me, then at herself. Timidly, she tried to lift herself, but the bedsheet made her slip, and she fell onto my lap once again. I concealed the smile that was threatening to form on my face.

I lifted her gently and helped her sit back on the bed. She glanced at me awkwardly before quickly slipping off the bed and rising to her feet. She sauntered towards the washroom.

Nidhi didn't turn around. She silently perched on the edge of the bed, picked up the water bottle, took a sip, and set it back down. Then, she lifted her feet off the floor, slipping under the covers beside me. Within seconds, she inched closer, though she didn't look up—probably too embarrassed. I understand how hard it is to open up; in those moments, you're reliving every bit of pain.

I felt a twinge of pity for her mother. I'm not much of a believer, but it's not that I don't believe at all. I just know that in the end, I have to figure things out on my own. No one's going to reach out with a helping hand.

But I do believe in karma. I believe that whatever you put out into the world, you get back. You don't leave this world without receiving in return, no matter what you've given.

Pain will be met with pain, and love with love.

But you receive it all in the end.

I only hope she stops before things escalate too far—before she gets something that might be too much for her to bear.

Her father wasn't blameless either. When he brought her home, he should have taken care of her, not left her to navigate everything on her own. Nidhi snuggled closer, and I gently caressed her head.

I wondered if he would have allowed Shivani to be treated that way. It was clear he felt helpless, but only because Nidhi wasn't his own daughter.

It doesn't matter if she doesn't believe in love. I do, and I'm here. That's what matters.

"Look at me," I whispered softly. She shook her head and buried her face against my neck. I didn't ask again, simply stroking her hair until she began to relax. I pulled her closer, holding her fully in my arms.

"Nidhi," I murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. I wished there were a way to tell her how much I love her—how I would love her until my last breath, and if possible, even beyond that.