Mistakes (Yuri X Male!Reader)

Chapter 12

It had been two weeks since Y/N started to feel things for Yuri. Each day they spent together only made those feelings stronger, to which Y/N had trouble expressing them. At the start, he managed to convey those pretty greatly. He believed that the best way to show your love was through acts. 

Like telling the other that you want to be with them. Asking them how their day was. Praising them for the little things, those kind of things.

But as time passed, he found himself unable to express those as easily than before. Like a wall built in his throat blocking the kind words he wanted to shower Yuri with.

Y/N knew why he felt like that, but still couldn't ask for help or telling others about his problems. He had several small problems. Or one big problem. Or the best of them and had small problems and big ones. It was safe to say that it made Y/N bitter about himself. 

He hated to be helped, even for the smallest things like helping him for a math test or helping him carry some documents some teachers asked him to do. He always saw it as pity, and he hated to be looked down to. People called this Pride. But Y/N view it as a flaw, for him, maybe it was just to prove himself. Proving himself to him. He wanted to be worthy of things, and worked very hard towards this goal. But each passing day made him think otherwise.

He managed to be close friends with the rest of the club. Sayori always tried to help him eagerly, which he always turned down. At first, Sayori was alright with it, saying that if he needed help, he could call her or anyone in the club. But as time passed, she found herself bothered by his obsession of not being helped. She found it unreasonable. For her, it was almost a form of self-harm. 

Natsuki tried too. When he turned her offers down, she'd always return to her clever remarks like : 'You'll regret not taking up my great help.' Or : 'Don't come crawling if you don't succeed.' But, as Sayori, the more he turned her kind help down, the more she grew worried. She knew that Y/N wasn't someone blasting his pride, quite the opposite, he was one of the only person she knew that was down to earth. Either he wanted to show off, or he just wanted to not bother anyone with his tasks. Needless to say that Natsuki found it dumb.

Monika, who always watched them telling Y/N he could rely on them, noticed on how often his expression changed. Going from calm to agitated, from happy to sadness, from collected to anger. It was surprising to see. And Monika wasn't excused of this feeling of uneasiness. Seeing one of her close friends becoming more and more detached from not only one person, but from everyone, she found it unbearable to feel.

And then there's Yuri, who was the most affected of them all. At first she was happy, Y/N showed her his appreciation, his closeness with her. He even shared one of his biggest fears. But, during those two weeks, Y/N seemed to be distancing himself from her. Yuri wasn't dumb, she clearly saw how Y/N changed, but the intensity of the change was what shocked her. He was always warmly welcoming all of her rants, thoughts, and opinions. But it slowly changed to indifferency and a bitter coldness. She thought that he was bored with her and wanted to change. But when she saw those exact same thing with the girls, she knew that it was him the problem, not her. She even tried and asked Y/N what was wrong, only to be met with his dark brown eyes piercing through her purple ones. Followed by a cold : 'Nothing, don't bother.' She found it immensely worrying.

The girls knew their opinions with it, as they all discussed it on a group chat. Y/N was added to their group chat, but they decided to make another one as his state was concerning all the girls. They found themselves a bit guilty hiding it from the boy, but even if they confronted him and pleaded to tell them what was wrong, they knew that Y/N would just not talk. 

It was dumb, self-destructive, worrying. They all knew that something was wrong, that Y/N was spiraling into something they didn't know but also feared. But they all couldn't do nothing about that. Y/N deliberately constructed walls around him, as if he was contagious from some sickness.