Mistakes (Yuri X Male!Reader)

Chapter 23

Warmth is a feeling which humans always strive to achieve and feel in one way or another. Even then, warmth is something you can feel physically and mentally.

A warm blanket, a warm cocoa, a godly dish made by your parents or your significant other. There is multiple way to warm you up physically. But mentally, it's a bit harder, and it changed with every human being.

A movie, some T.V shows, anime, manga, working out. Those are several example to be in a better spot mentally. 

Of course, people have preferences. They prefer to watch a movie with some friends, they prefer to work out alone, they prefer to watch some shows with their lover. There is as much mean to seek warmth than humans on Earth. 

Some, unfortunately, sink into dark or darker places to have this warmth. Some seek a lover and change them constantly, some seek pain to make them feel alive and good. Some do unethical things to be all hyped up.

As I said, there is as much mean to alleviate your spirit than humans on Earth. If one thing exist who makes you sad, then the opposite exist to make you happy. But humans often fail to see that perspective.

Yuri was that type of human. She always found a way to feel sad, pitiful, but never search a way to feel happy, great. She was always searching to find a way to escape her thoughts rather than accepting them and making them her strength. That was why her self-esteem was extremely low, then you add her her case of bullying back in her years of middle school and you find the recipe of someone shutting their feelings off.

Of course, it lead to some sorry events, such as her self-harm and her self-hatred. She hated herself, she grew disgusted of her own image on the mirror, and her scars on her wrists were there to make her remember how 'fucked' she was.

But one day, Natsuki found Yuri cut herself in the toilets, firstly, Yuri was pissed at Natsuki, she wanted to yell at her, telling how much she hated her to walk into such a private thing. But when Natsuki started to panic and tried to help her bleeding, Yuri didn't find the words, or even the strength to yell. She wanted to yell to leave her alone, yelling that it was all she deserved. But her words was stuck into her throat.

Natsuki made some sloppy first aid as she called the rest of the club. Yuri, then, had the strength to plead Natsuki to not call them, as she feared that they would be disgusted by such a freaky thing to do. 

But, breaking this image, Natsuki, Sayori and Monika showed extreme care and closeness to Yuri, and for the first time in a while, she found herself warming up mentally. She received her friend's worry, care, warmth at full strength straight to her. 

After that small, but important event, Yuri made a vow to herself, to never hurt herself again. Instead, she opted to cry when things went a little bit overboard in her brain. And, of course, her friends from her club was there to be with her, they were such a big help to her. Yuri found herself almost selfish to know that she was the only one having such problems and asking for help. But they didn't care about that, Yuri was having trouble to like herself, and they were here for her to help in that domain.

Then Y/N came into her life. And then everything went bizarrely good. Yuri didn't want Y/N to be left out in the club, they had another club member in their final year in high school, she wanted to make his stay more than welcome. 

The first morning, she saw that Y/N noticed her, the boy greeted her, but due to her shyness and her intense belief that she was nothing but a burden, she fled, passing him. Later that day, when those two boys made her book fell, with all of her notes, she felt pitiful. But then, unexpectedly for her, Y/N helped her. For her, Y/N didn't need to waste his physical effort for her, but he insisted and said that he wanted to, he said it so easily that it made Yuri question her own thoughts.