Mistakes (Yuri X Male!Reader)

Chapter 22

Memories. A form of knowledge every living being have access to. A memory can be formed by multiple means. 

By hearing, by seeing, by doing both, by feeling. There is as much ways to form a memory as the number of memories itself. 

Sometime, when the time passed, some memories evolved into instinct. A form of memory which isn't stocked in the brain, but in the D.N.A. 

Instinct is impossible to overwrite, but can be forgotten to a certain degree. Humans in immemorial times used to fear anything that they couldn't explain properly. In recent time, humans are the species which had the objective to strive and comprehend anything in the world. This objective was maybe born from the initial fear of the incomprehensible. 

So, memories and instinct was the two faces of the same coin, making them connected, but couldn't be meet. Some memories was such burden to remember that the brain searched a way to forget about those. Some instinct was so deep into the D.N.A that it couldn't be forgotten by any means.

It is a form of evolution, of intelligence, sapience. A memory of a certain mistake will make you try to not do it again. A memory of a certain success will make you strive for more success. 

Memories are powerful, leading the way towards greatness.

Y/N had a pretty good memory, he didn't know why or how he had it, but he managed to remember a large amount of things. But sometimes his memory lapsed, making him forget something.

He didn't know why, but couldn't be bothered as if he forgot it, it wasn't important in the first place. But following his encounter with Arata, he had some memories flowing back into his brain, in the form of dreams. Or nightmares.

His brain made him remember how he felt during his last year, powerless and miserable. Each time, he would shot awake, breath for a bit and turn on his phone, only to see the picture of Yuri sleeping on his shoulder and him sleeping on Yuri's head. He smiled to himself as he remember forgetting to thank Sayori for the picture.

And the cycle repeated, but this time it was in his current setting of life. Yuri basically told everyone that Y/N was not how he claimed to be, picturing herself as a victim. While she was the one who assaulted Y/N.

This time, he slowly opened his eyes as he knew it was just a nightmare, his brain trying to put him on a difficult position. He groaned as he put his blanket on his head.

He knew how to see those things, he knew what it looked like, how it felt like. So he wouldn't make this mistake a second time. 

Then his alarm rang, making him groan even more as he angrily grabbed his phone and turned off the chirpy tune. "I'll change it someday." Y/N lowly said as he cleared his throat. He felt extremely thirsty, so he wasted no time to get up as he basically rushed towards his fridge.

He didn't hesitate as he took the pineapple juice and drank it from the bottle. He took several, huge sips as he could feel his brain freeze a bit. "It might cool down those memories." He whispered as he held his head, as if he tried to warm his brain up. Once the brain freeze passed, he directly went to his bathroom as he wanted to get Yuri this morning.

His morning routine went smoothly, in his shower he looked at the scars he inflicted himself on his thighs and his hips, and smiled slightly as he couldn't see any of those filthy marks on them. He didn't see himself as tainted, he wasn't disgusting himself in the mirror anymore. It took its time, but he felt happy to finally put those years in the back of his mind, letting them rot and die.

He wrote a message at Yuri, telling that 'he might be early'. Yuri immediately saw the message and began to type her own response, saying 'waiting isn't bad'. Well, he just sent back a smiling face as he advanced towards his lover's house.