ALL I NEED [Landoscar]

- 8 -

Oscar's POV:

I gazed up at the ceiling fan, It was continually spinning so quickly that its arms were all just one blur. I was having trouble sleeping. It had been a few weeks since the incident between Lily and I. I had hardly left the house since, only for work and uni, and I barely spoke to anyone, even Max and Bianca. The incident was also the last time Lando and I had interacted.

I had dozens of missed calls and texts from him, yet I didn't have the energy or motivation to respond to any of them. I placed my hand on my bare chest, feeling my stomach slowly rise and fall. My eyelids felt heavy, and It felt like I would lose consciousness any second now, but my body was too ignorant to realize this.

I grunted, bringing my hands to my eyes, clenching them into fists and vigorously rubbing them. I sat up from the bed, standing on my two feet. I slouched over to my closet, where I picked out a woolen gray jacket. I draped it over my bare body, zipping it up before quickly rushing down the stairs. 

I peered around the corner into the living room, seeing both my parents passed out on the couches. My dad was still grasping a beer bottle, his hand drooping over the couch arm. I tiptoed past them, ensuring I didn't wake them from their deep slumber.

Opening the front door I hustled out, quietly shutting it behind me. I paced down the concrete pathway, It was pitch black outside. The only source of light being the occasional dim street light, paired with the blinding headlights of a car or two. I tucked my hands into the jacket's pockets, seeing a small puff of mist come out of my mouth every time I took a breath. It was fucking cold.

I hadn't even thought of a reason as to why I thought it was a good reason to come outside when It was so late at night, when it was so cold. Anything to get away from staring at that goddamn ceiling. I paced across the tar road, heading towards a small park tucked in the corner of two smaller houses. There lay a singular wooden bench, connected to a small dirt path. I followed this path until I reached the bench, where I slouched onto the uncomfortable seat.

I took a deep breath in, trying to recollect my thoughts. I had been such a mess lately. Ignoring all the ones I loved and cherished, overthinking, doubting myself, bombing assignments, all over a girl who didn't even give two shits about me. Lando was right. Why did I let this one girl consume all my thoughts, all my actions, just for her to leave? My mind traced back to Lando.

Lando.

Lando had been on my mind a lot recently. I felt guilt wash over me, I had been completely ignoring Lando. The scene of Lando and the man from the cafe at the party reappeared in my mind once again. I had come to find out that the cafe man was Carlos, a friend of Lando. I then felt something wash over me, I hadn't ever felt it before. Something unfamiliar, distant. A feeling similar to that of jealousy, envy.

I shook my head, wanting the awkward emotion to fade away. My mind rewound back to Lando. and his past words ran through my head once again.

"Well, I guess I swing both ways,"

Lando hadn't struck me as someone who was interested in both boys and girls, yet it almost fascinated me. What caused him to come to that conclusion? When did he figure it out? How did he first feel about it? Who had he told? Who made him feel that way?

It was a concept I hadn't really thought about myself. I didn't consider myself attracted to men, but I certainly wasn't against it. I had so many questions that had been left unanswered, and I needed answers. I pulled out my phone, realizing it was like 2 am.

Lando lived close, and I presumed he would be awake at this hour. I dialed his number, placing the phone against my ear. It rang twice before I heard a slight shuffling noise, a small grumble noise also audible.