ALL I NEED [Landoscar]

- 13 -

Oscar's POV:

I sat on the cushioned seat of the train, as the blurred silhouettes of the countless suburbs and trees whizzed past. The air was filled with faint murmurs and chatter coming from the half-dozen people scattered along the carriage. The calm atmosphere seemed to contrast my panicked, jittery, and anxious state.

I felt my legs continuously bounce up and down, as my feet tapped against the  on the diamond plate surface. My breathing was heavy, as I inhaled deep breaths audible to everyone else on the train. I reached my hand up to my chest, clenching my button-up. My heart was rapidly beating up and down, as if it were about to jump out any second.

My head was cloudy, completely fogged up. I was unable to think straight. Thousands of thoughts were running through my mind, as I clenched my eyes shut, hoping this daunting feeling would seemingly vanish. Nothing. 

I was still sitting on this damn train, with these thoughts running wild. One thought was blaring about the rest, however, coming to the front of my mind as soon as it had been thought.

I had kissed my best friend.

I began to violently shake my head, doubting my past decisions. Why had I been so stupid? What caused me even to kiss him in the first place? I groaned, tilting my head up as the countless notions continued their journey through my headspace.

Without thinking, I whipped my phone out of my pocket, before swiftly opening the contacts app and clicking on the contact named 'Logan :]'. I pressed the bright green button, before holding the phone up to my ear.

Within two buzzes, the call had been picked up. I heard faint breathing, before a few coughs and ruffling of what I assumed to be bedsheets.

"Oscar?" I heard Logan say through the other side, his voice was coarse, filled with slight confusion.

"Logan," I stammered. My voice was shaky, sounding like I was about to burst out crying at any second.

"Why are you calling me at this hour? Do you realize what the time is? I was about to go to bed," Logan grumbled, seemingly annoyed.

"Logan, I-" I started, before cutting myself off. How did I even say this without sounding like a complete moron?

"Are you good? Your voice sounds shaky," He asked, his tone becoming more stern as I heard him sit up.

"I-" I continued, yet I was still unable to finish the sentence. I was stuck for words. I felt my breathing continue to exaggerate.

"Osc, It's okay, you can speak to me, I'm here," He reassured.

"Logan, I need help," I stuttered faintly, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Help? Help with what?" Logan asked.

"I- Nevermind, sorry for bothering you," I mumbled, before reaching my finger over the 'hang up' button.

"Wait! Osc please, talk to me," He called, causing my finger to jerk back. I took in a deep breath, preparing myself to let it all out.

"I- Lando brought me to this work party, a-and we went up to this ballroom, and we d-danced, and it was really f-fun, b-but then we went onto this b-balcony, where I then k-kissed him," I blurted out, still stuttering significantly.

"Oh... Thats... good! I'm so happy for you!" Logan exclaimed, slight envy sounding in his tone.

"No, that's n-not it... I pulled away a-and ran. Logan! I don't know what to do! I'm such a fucking moron!" I stammered. My eyes began to swell up with tears, the salty liquid causing my vision to blur.