Pancakes & Butterflies

11. Cherries

"So you wanna tell him everything?" Gunwook who was walking by Matthew's side after both their classes ended, asked. Since Matthew told him everything about his past with Taerae, his next move was supposed to tell Jiwoong as well, because otherwise, he would keep thinking about it.

"Yeah." Said the Canadian man.

"But, didn't you say there's a chance that he'd take it negatively?" Gunwook asked, "I mean, it's good that you wanna be honest with him, but since you solved it with Taerae hyung, is it really necessary to tell him everything?"

Matthew sighed. He had been hesitant about it too. But deep inside, he knew coming clean would ease his mind. "I don't know Wookie, What should I do?"

The younger felt sympathetic, so he patted his hyung's back and said, "Take your time. Think about it. If you end up reaching the same conclusion every time, then do that. Know that you're not responsible for anything anymore. And..." Gunwook smiled, "I'll always be here for you. So don't you worry about anything."

Matthew wanted to hug his ex roommate. Gunwook had always been so patient, so calm, so caring. Yes he adored the boy a lot, but sometimes, he'd wonder if he really deserved to be looked after by someone as precious as the said boy.

They reached Matthew's apartment building soon. Gunwook had work to do, so he left the other there. As Matthew walked into the elevator, he kept thinking about the possible reactions from Jiwoong. Taerae said it's okay. So even if Jiwoong reacts at first, he should eventually accept it. And see that Matthew's not a bad person. He should endure that much, right?

Matthew walked into his own apartment, changed into comfy clothes and replied to Jiwoong's text who asked when he'd be home. Matthew sighed. He got so used to spending his time with Jiwoong that if he's bound to be alone again, it would hit him very hard. Even so, he should risk it.

He made dinner, then knocked on Jiwoong's door. The elder opened up with a smile, glasses on his eyes.

"You're late." Jiwoong said, letting him in.

"I made dinner for us." Answered the other, "Were you working?"

"Yup." Jiwoong walked all the way to his room which the younger followed, "Need a few more things to do."

"Then finsih up first. We can have dinner later."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"I can wait." Matthew sat on Jiwoong's bed, took a plushie to hide his face in as he laid down. Jiwoong smiled at him then got back to typing on his laptop. Matthew sighed and stared at the ceiling. How great it was to randomly fall on his crush's bed, as if they were already dating. He didn't wanna ruin it, especially as it took him quite a while to reach that point. But the constant pinch in his heart would be gone if he could say that, wasn't it an alluring offer itself?

"Hyung?" He suddenly sat up, face all red for being pressed against that fluffy toy. Jiwoong turned and looked at him with those big eyes hidden behind that thick frame. Taerae didn't look much like him, but back then, he used to wear thick glasses too.

"Hm?" Jiwoong asked. Matthew's heart began beating faster. That gentle demeanor- would it last if he ends up saying the truth?

"I wanna tell you something." He spoke out, with a nervous tone of voice, "But you have to promise me that nothing will change between us afterwards."

Now, Jiwoong was curious. He moved forward with his moving chair, tilting his head as he asked, "What is it? Why do you sound so unsure?"

"Just tell me." Matthew's voice was strained, "That you won't be mad."