Yoo Joonghyuk sat in the dimly lit waiting room, time had lost all meaning as he fell deeper in despair. Nurses and doctors moved around him in a slow blur. His head was in his hands, fingers digging into his scalp as he tried to ground himself back to reality. He couldn't get the image of Kim Dokjas's lifeless body to leave his head. Shin Yoosoung sat beside him, her hands laid limply on her legs as she stared blankly into the hall where Kim Dokjas's room was. Her usually bright eyes were dull. Lee Gilyoung was crying into his sleeves as he huddled close to Shin Yoosoung. His small body shook with sobs, as he curled up into himself.
Minutes stretched into an entirety, all Yoo Joonghyuk could think about was Kim Dokja. His mind replayed every moment they had shared, every word that had been spoken, every touch. The weight of his grief was suffocating. He knew he should comfort the kids but he was barely holding himself together.
"Yoo Joonghyuk..." the voice was soft, almost hesitant. Han Sooyoung placed a hand on his shoulder. Yoo Joonghyuk looked up from his hands and saw a nurse standing in front of him. His heart plummeted and dread pooled in his stomach, cold and unyielding. She approached Yoo Joonghyuk, her movements gentle and measured as if she were approaching a wounded animal.
"May I talk to you alone?"
Yoo Joonghyuk forced himself to meet her in the eye, a flicker of hope still alive deep within him. He nodded numbly and stood, his legs felt like they were going to give up underneath him. He glanced back at Shin Yoosoung and Lee Gilyoung, their grief-stricken faces made him want to stay. He knew that he didn't want to hear whatever the nurse was about to tell him. Yoo Joonghyuk followed her into an empty hallway away from the others. The sterile walls and fluorescent lights seemed to close in on him as he followed. The nurse stopped and turned to face him, her voice was steady as she began.
"Kim Dokja is in a comatose" Her voice was gentle and tinged with sorrow. For a moment hope flared in his chest.
"Does that mean he's alive?" Yoo Joonghyuk said sharply his voice mixed with desperation and fear.
The nurse's eyes filled with pity. "He suffered severe brain damage, Kim Dokja is still alive in a sense but he will never wake up."
Yoo Joonghyuk felt the world tilt, his breath caught in his throat. The nurse's words hung in the air cruelly. "That can't be right." he shook his head his breath shuddering. "No, he's still alive you can use medicine and help him!"
The nurse bowed her head "I'm truly sorry, we did everything we could, but his condition..it was too severe."
A strangled noise escaped Yoo Joonghyks throat, a sound caught between a sob and a scream. He hated this. He hated this feeling. Tears spilled down his face "What am I going to do" his voice cracked. This wasn't right, this wasn't supposed to happen.
The nurse reached out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder but Yoo Joonghyuk swatted it away.
"If you would like you can say your final goodbyes, or you could keep him on life support but that wouldn't bring him back"
Yoo Joonghyuk's heart dropped even deeper in his chest. If he saw Kim Dokja's body, if he saw his still body then that would be it. His last memory of Kim Dokja wouldn't be waking up next to him in the morning anymore it would be him standing over his body. He felt the taste of blood in his mouth and his mind spiraled.
"Can I see him?" he managed to choke out.
"Of course." the nurse replied softly.
She led him back down the hall, her steps slow, giving Yoo Joonghyuk time to steel himself. As they inched closer to Kim Dokjas's room, the finality of it all began to sink in even deeper. He wasn't ready for this, he never would be but he had to see Kim Dokja just one last time.
She opened the door and let Yoo Joonghyuk in the room by himself.
The nurse went quiet for a moment and fished something out of her pocket "This was on his bedside table."
On a small piece of paper was Kim Dokja's handwriting "Pass to comp: 8.3.1991"
It was Yoo Joonghyuk's birthday. He put it inside his pocket without a second thought.
"Take all the time you need." she closed the door softly behind her. Yoo Joonghyuk stood motionless at the threshold of Kim Dokjas's room, the dim light cast long shadows that seemed to reach out and grip him in place. His eyes were fixed on Kim Dokjas face, so eerily peaceful in a way that tore at Yoo Joonghyuks heart. It was a bitter illusion, Kim Dokja looked as if he were just resting. He would wake up at any moment and once his eyes laid on Yoo Joonghyuk he would smile that familiar, comforting smile. But the rhythmic beep of the machines beside him broke his illusion, now Kim Dokjas's life was only holding on by a thread.
Yoo Joonghyuks heart froze in his chest as he forced himself to move closer to the bedside. Each step was agonizing. He stood still and reached out his hand, trembling as it brushed against Kim Dokja's face. The warmth was gone. His whole mind screamed at him to run away, this wasn't real.
"I love you.." Yoo Joonghyuks voice cracked and fell into a broken sob. "Kim Dokja." The name hung in the air as he was met with silence. "I love you," he repeated his voice choked with emotion. But there was no response, no comforting words or a warm smile. He sank to his knees beside the bed, and what was left of himself quickly disappeared. Overwhelming grief crushed him. Tears spilled over his face and streamed down his cheeks as he cried. He found Kim Dokja's hand and held onto it tightly, but for the first time, his hand felt empty.
"I'm so sorry. I couldn't save you. I couldn't-" his sobs wracked through his body. His words dissolved the pain too immense for him to speak. Yoo Joonghyuk clung to Kim Dokja, desperate to hold down any last fragment of him. He was hopeless, now all he could do was hold on as long as he could, as if sheer will alone would bring him back. He sat on the floor, his eyes aimlessly staring at the wall. He didn't know how long he sat there but when he looked up again it was morning.
He had stayed by Kim Dokja's side, his mind consumed by thoughts. He knew he would have to say goodbye to him.
"Goodbye." the mere thought of the word felt like a knife twisting in his heart. Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't say that. He knew deep down that someday, somewhere they would meet again. So he didn't need to say goodbye. He had thought it was impossible to love someone this much but it was always so easy to love Kim Dokja. One day he would wake up next to him again.
Slowly, painfully, Yoo Joonghyuk lifted his head and looked at Kim Dokjas face one last time. He bent down and placed an impossibly delicate kiss on his forehead. "I will always love you," he vowed, his voice trembling but resolute "Kim Dokja, I'll be with you again someday, I promise."
The wind outside howled outside blowing the curtains open. A moment of sunlight flooded into the room causing Yoo Joonghyuk to look up. For a moment it felt like he was being wrapped up in someone's arms.
Authors Note:
Kim Dokja left a message for Yoo Joonghyuk, I'll write about it in the next chapter. The next one will officially be the last chapter so stay updated
I will mark this as complete, though the next chapter will just be for closure. You guys deserve it🫶
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Quiet Farewell (JOONGDOK)ORV☑️
RomanceKim Dokja is sick, really sick. He can't bring himself to tell his family and Yoo Joonghyuk Sneak Peak Kim Dokja swayed as he walked his mind was racing. How would he say goodbye? He felt like his heart was being carved out. "I'm going to die?" he t...
