𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐅𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 |Taelisa|✓

||17||Unbearable

||L I S A||

In the haunting passage of a seemingly endless month, I've been traversing the desolate landscape of my emotions, feeling akin to a lifeless entity.

The reins of control slip through my fingers like grains of sand, and in the depths of despair, I condemn myself as an utterly pathetic woman. Taehyung's presence, an indomitable force, etches itself relentlessly in the canvas of my mind.

Amidst this tempest of emotions, my sister and even her boyfriend extend their helping hands, unaware of the tempest ravaging my heart.

Behind the facade of a changed residence and a new phone number lies the profound ache I keep hidden, a pain that threatens to engulf me entirely.

In a misguided attempt to shield myself from the sting of past hurts, I realize the folly of my actions, labeling myself as foolish.

Love, stubborn and unyielding, remains a constant undercurrent, compelling me to seek his return into the narrative of my life, no matter the cost.

The burden of self-loathing intensifies, branding me as the embodiment of inadequacy. To escape the relentless echo of my thoughts, I immerse myself in ceaseless work, working day and night to divert my mind. Contemplating a solitary journey abroad, I yearn to rediscover myself in isolation.

The clock ticks relentlessly, and as night descends, I consume the last drop of a bitter elixir. With a heavy heart, I rise, cognizant of the destructive path I tread.

The absence of his presence renders me an echo, a realization that cuts deep into the fabric of my existence. Yes, in his absence, I am nothing. The profound truth crystallizes, unveiling the depth of my yearning.

Stepping out into the unfamiliar space of my new room in our recently relocated house, I made a conscious effort to keep myself occupied, immersing myself in tasks like washing the dishes even though we had staff for such chores.

The urgency to break free from my addiction to Taehyung fueled my determination. Amidst the mundane clatter of dishes, my sister emerged from her room, her gaze heavy with concern.

"What are you doing there?" she inquired, her worry palpable. Unperturbed, I continued washing, dismissing her with a curt, "Don't disturb me."

Halting me in my tracks, she insisted, "What's that for? You are overdoing yourself, Lisa." I met her gaze and retorted, "Sister, I am working, can't you see?"

Undeterred, she observed, "It's freezing cold, and you're working in cold water. Then you'll retreat to your room and bury yourself in your laptop again." Defiantly, I replied, "I am doing this for myself. I am fine. Please go and take a rest."

Her intervention persisted. "Stop working yourself to the bone. I know what you're doing. Make it right! Get drunk if you have to. I can't bear to see you in pain like this, Lisa. Cry if you want to! You weren't in this condition when your ex-boyfriend broke your heart like that, Lisa." Her words hung in the air, a stark reminder of the tumultuous journey my heart had undertaken.

Tears streaming down my face, I met her gaze and whispered, "I don't know. I am fine." She gently cupped my face, a gesture filled with concern, and urged, "Come on, let's drink! But we have to make this right. Let's talk about this. Talk to me! You are getting psycho for Taehyung; you are torturing yourself for him."

In a moment of emotional turmoil, I jerked away from her touch and declared, "This is the only way I want! This is the only way I can! This is the only way for me to make things right after everything that I've done wrong! You know what?."