Four letter word

42. Summer break (part 2)

It was during August when it finally happened. Riley got out of the shower and went into her room. It was around 9pm and almost everyone had already gone to bed. The girl had by now gotten used to AJ's family's lifestyle. Early in bed, early to be up in the morning. She hadn't managed to do the same tho, so she was usually up until 4am, hanging around in her room, talking to Dana on the phone, playing video games with Lindsey whenever she wasn't busy with her sister. Sometimes AJ would stay up to, she liked to read at night when it was quiet and peaceful. Riley had realised this and would check to see if AJ was awake every night. If she was then Riley would join her. Sometimes they'd read their own books in quiet and other times Riley would ask AJ to read out loud for her. It was nice. They had gotten close over summer.

One thing that was bothering Riley was her found feelings for AJ. She didn't know what to think of that and she hadn't really told Dana either. Of course she had known how charming and attractive the shorter girl was from the start, but now it was different. She had started to get genuine feelings for her and it was confusing. AJ was Lindsey's girlfriend and Dana had a crush on her. Would it be okay for Riley to make a move as well? This thought had given Riley a new idea. What if all four of them dated. Would that be okay? Even so... she still didn't know how AJ felt.

Riley put on a newly washed shirt and black shorts. Her damp hair fell on the shirt, making it wet, but she didn't care. She went out to see what AJ was doing but didn't find the younger girl in her room. Tv sounds were coming from downstairs and she went to see who it was. Riley found Tony on the couch, playing video games.

"Hey, why are you still up?" Riley asked.

"I can't win this match, man!" He groaned and grabbed a chip from the bowl.

"Have you seen AJ?"

"Yeah, she went out for a walk"

"At this hour?" Riley raised her eyebrows in shock. It wasn't like AJ to go roaming around alone at night.

"Yeah. She does that sometimes. I know where her 'secret' spot is, if you wanna go see her" Tony shrugged.

"Will she be mad if I go?" Riley asked. Feeling confused by what AJ's little brother had said. 'Yeah, she does that sometimes'. Turns out Riley didn't AJ well enough.

"Nah, I don't think so. It's by the water fall. There's a big rock on the lower land. She usually sits there and stares at the water. It's weirded. I found her there by accident once and she didn't even realise I was there, she was so spaced out. I even took a picture, wanna see?" He said, chuckling.

"Uh... no, thanks. I'm gonna go find her. It's late" she said, heading upstairs to put on shoes and grab her bag.

"I wouldn't worry much. This place is as safe as it gets" he replied but she couldn't hear anymore.

Riley searched for the place Tony described and after a twenty minute walk she finally found it. AJ was sitting on the rock with her arms wrapped around her knees and looking at the waterfall. She seemed to be lost in thought. Riley walked up to her and sat down on the rock, startling the smaller girl.

"Oh... hi. What are you doing here?" AJ asked, looking confused and a bit dazed.

Riley shrugged.

"Could ask you the same thing"

AJ smiled and looked away, "this is my spot. I got overwhelmed earlier today. There's a lot of people in the house. I don't mind it of course. I love being with all of you guys, but I just needed some alone time"

"Oh... sorry. I'll leave you then" Riley said and started to get up. AJ caught her hand before she could.

"No, don't. I feel better now" she said. Riley sat down again, realizing AJ wasn't letting go of her hand. She raised an eyebrow. The smaller girl started to play with her fingers. It felt neutral. She had a soft touch, like she was constantly careful trying not to hurt anyone around her, even tho she couldn't possibly. It was so sweet, the way their hands met, their fingers intertwined. AJ rested her head on Riley's shoulder. The older girl smiled and took AJ's hand in both of hers.

They were quiet. Riley wondered if this was a romantic moment or just two friends sitting next to each other.

"I miss Lindsey" AJ said quietly. Riley sighed. Lindsey... what would she say about this? How would she react to Riley's new found feelings? And when had Riley become so soft? So caring towards the three girls?

"I miss her too" She said. It was true. Riley missed Lindsey a lot. Her best friend and her girlfriend. She wondered how different this summer would be if all four of them were together. Together together.

"We talked about you the other day" AJ mentioned, making Riley raise her eyebrow in surprise.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm... she misses you too. Huh... she made a joke about me falling for you while we're here" AJ chuckled. Riley had to take a deep breath. What was funny about that? Was it so unimaginable?

"And how would she feel about that?"

"About what?"

"You... falling for me" Riley asked carefully. AJ shrugged.

"I dunno... we were just joking. I mean you already have two girlfriends... are you collecting girls or something?" AJ laughed. Her hand was still in Riley's and she could feel Riley's hands becoming a bit more sweaty. She couldn't figure out why. It wasn't that hot outside at nights.

"Not collecting... it's just... you can't help who you fall for..." Riley tried to put it in a way that wouldn't be so obvious.

"What do you mean?" AJ asked.

Yeah. Okay. That wasn't working. Riley turned to the side, crossing her legs, making AJ lift her head up as well and grabbing her shoulders to make her turn to her as well. Now they were sitting face to face with their legs crossed. Riley's hands were still on AJ's shoulders as she started,

"Okay, hear me out. We've know each other for a while now and I feel like we know each other pretty well. And you know how I've been on this whole discovering your emotions and feelings and being more open and loving towards others sort of journey and all that bullshit right? Well, here's me being open and vulnerable. I think you're amazing. And I fully understand why Lindsey and Dana are so obsessed with you. I've never met anyone like you. You're warm, caring, understanding and also cool, mysterious, and really really, I mean REALLY nerdy. Which is kinda hot. Well actually not kinda, you're hot dude. But it's more than that. God, I don't know. I just like spending time with you and I was thinking about that kiss and how much I actually really liked it and honestly I would like to do it again. This time sober. And you know what, I think I'm falling for you. And I know I know it's crazy, I already have two girlfriends, but so? You three are the most amazing people in my life and I wanna be with you guys. So yeah, I like you, AJ."

Riley finished rambling and took a deep breath, waiting for the other girl to say something. Her hands still on her shoulders. AJ looked to be in shocked, she was staring at the older girl with wide eyes and mouth slightly open. She was truly in shock.

"Okay, that was the first and probably the last time I communicated my feeling so please say something" Riley said, getting nervous.

"I... " AJ started, but honestly didn't know what to say. How did one even respond to that? Did she find Riley attractive based on her physical appearance and her personality? Yes, of course. How could you not? This was Riley fucking Towers. There wasn't a single person who didn't find her attractive.

But had she actually imagined dating her? No! Not in a million years. Riley was on top of the stairs, one of the coolest girls in the academy and she was dating Dana freaking Brooke and now Lindsey. She couldn't understand why on earth Riley would ever even look her way. Yes, they were friends now, but AJ had always kind of assumed Riley was hanging out with her because of Lindsey. But having actual feelings for her?? It seemed impossible. It was impossible! Was this lovebombing? Maybe Riley was just feeling lonely without Dana and Lindsey and her brain was tricking her into thinking she had feelings for AJ. There were so many explanations for this. But Riley falling for AJ just couldn't be true.

"Come on, say something... please" Riley asked, now sounding slightly desperate. She took her hands off the smaller girl's shoulders and grabbed her hands instead, now rubbing them with her thumbs.

AJ was speechless and Riley desperately needed her to say something. Anything.

                                              ~*~