Out of My Reach

Chapter 17

I woke up and realized that C.J spent the night. I rolled over and looked up at him. He was already awake.

"Good morning sleepy head." He said as he moved my hair out of my face.

"Were you watching me sleep?" I ask.

"Kind of. I love the way you sleep, it's just interesting to me. You move a lot." He said.

"Oh, well, okay." I said and got up out of bed, realizing I still have my clothes on from yesterday.

"Did I fall asleep in the middle of talking to you?" I ask.

"Yeah. I would have changed your clothes so you could sleep more comfortably, then I realized that would be weird. So I realized that I should just lay you down and cuddle with you." He said and I smiled.

"Okay, well, I'll use the bathroom to get ready for school and you can use my room to get dressed and what not." I said and went upstairs to the bathroom. I got dressed and did everything I needed to and then I went and got something to drink, skipping breakfast and going back down stairs.

I walked into my room and he was ready.

"You ready to go?" He asked and I nodded my head. We stepped out of my room and I shut my door. He stopped me just outside of it.

"Let's have a good day." He said as he kissed my hand.

"I'll try." I said and we went upstairs and out the front door.

We walked hand in hand and I got a little cold, realizing winter is just around the corner.

"Are you cold?" C.J asked me.

"No, I'm fine." I lied, but I didn't want him to worry or something.

"Okay." He said and we kept walking.

"Ew, are you dating the outcast of the school?" Alexis said as we walked into school holding hands.

"Yes I am, I love her very much." He said and I smiled.

"Ew, why? She's gross." She said. If looks could kill, she would be dead by now.

"What makes her gross?" He asked.

"Just look at her, she has discusting taste in clothes and she doesn't wear make up."

"Well, atleast she isn't a slut and fucks every guy in the school like you. I have respect for the way she dresses and I don't take her for granted." He said.

"What ever." She said and walked away.

"Wow, way to go." I said and hugged him.

"Everything I said was true darling." He said and kissed my cheek. I blushed but then went to my locker.

I grabbed my stuff out for my classes and C.J and I walked to our classes together. We sat next to each other in every class we have together and we sit in the back. We've sat next to each other since the first day of school.

By time band came around everyone knew that the outcast of the school was dating the most popular guy in school.

"You're dating C.J?" One of the sluts in my class asked. I honestly hate my school because the girls here just throw themselves at guys and they see nothing wrong with that. There are actually very few of us that don't do that and were known as 'outcasts.' It's sad actually.

"Yeah." I said.

"Isn't he like popular?" She asked and I became annoyed.

"Yeah he is." I said, annoyance evident in my voice.

"Why is he dating you?" She asked discussedly.

"I don't know. How about you go ask him." I said and walked away. I'm tired of being judged just because I'm 'dating' a popular guy.

I went upon my day as normal. C.J was being nice to me when everyone was being mean to me, except for Charlie. She's honestly one of the nicest people I know.

C.J was extra careful when he spoke to me, I'm pretty sure he didn't want to set me off just because everyone sucks, literally. Girls are so mean.

Once I got home Nick was waiting for me.

"Explain." He said and I was confused for a bit but then understood.

"I used to like C.J and I do like James, my best internet friend, a lot, but I'm dating C.J because Alex is dating James and I'm getting back at her for it. Who knows though, they might fall in love and I might end up with C.J, even though I want James. It's confusing." I said.

"Jenna you can't do that."

"I can do what I want." I said and went into my room and started working on my homework.

After a couple of hours of working I finally worked up the courage to sign back into kik.

I had a lot of notifications from James. He said "Hey." A lot though, so I finally replied to him.

"Hi." I said and he replied instantly.

"What happened to you? You stopped talking to me and Alex said you guys were having problems, what happened?"

"Of course she said that." I said to myself and replied back to him.

"Trust me you don't want to know." I replied.

"Yes I do." He replied, so I went off, knowing it's probably not the best idea to tell him that I've secretly been hiding my true feelings for my best internet friend.

"Okay, you broke my heart and so did Alex. She told me you guys were dating and it crushed me. I like you a lot and it hurt me just to know you're dating my best friend, I couldn't handle continuing talking to you because I know that if I continue I would just be falling into this hole deeper and deeper. I like you a lot and I wish you could understand, but I know that you don't like me the way I like you and that hurts." I replied, tears finally streaming from my eyes.

"I'm sorry." Was all he said. I wasn't going to say that it was okay, because it's not. I'm not okay. So I just didn't reply to him.

I wiped my tear stained face and went upstairs to eat dinner. We ordered pizza because, why not?

During dinner I didn't talk at all. I ate the pizza and went back down to my room and just tried to relax. I cried a little bit more and just grieved in the loneliness of my room.