Out of My Reach

Chapter 15

I woke up with a massive head ache, not ready for what life has to throw at me today. I got dressed and threw on some sweat pants and a sweat shirt, not really caring about my appearance, even though I have a 'boyfriend.' I feel bad though because I feel like I'm using C.J in order to hide my true feelings towards James. I spraid some perfume on me and didn't even bother brushing my messy hair.

I went upstairs and brushed my teeth and then got something to drink, then I was out the door.

C.J was walking up towards my house when he saw me.

"Hey I was just about to come and get you." He said while giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Well, we met out here so..." I said, not really waning to continue on with life. I didn't smile, I didn't have any expression.

"What's wrong?" C.J asked me as we were walking together.

"Nothing I'm fine." I said with a fake smile. When did life result in faking your true feelings?

"I know you're not ok, it's ok not to be ok." He said, that's the realist things someone has ever said to me.

"So, what if I'm not ok. Maybe I don't want to talk about it. Maybe I just want to go and survive school with out crying and then go home and cry myself to sleep. Maybe I want to forget even though forgetting is hard. Maybe things are just better left unsaid." I snapped. I couldn't take this anymore. I couldn't take the pain.

"Babe, everything will be ok." He said and hugged me and I started crying. I hated this, I didn't want this. I didn't want to date him.

"Don't cry, I hate seeing you sad." He said and he wiped my tears off of my face. He's a nice guy and he's caring but I don't like him anymore, I've made a mistake.

"I've made a mistake." I said as I ran back home and shut the front door, sliding down until I could feel nothing but the cold floor beneath me. I just wanted to shrivel up and cry, I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to talk about it with someone, but then again I didn't. I wanted to not deal with this.

I got back up and I had to be strong.

"I can do this." I said and walked outside and C.J was sitting outside of my front door.

"Hey." He said and I smiled.

"Hi." I said, I'm just going to forget about James for the time being and just deal with life.

"Are you ok?" He asked and I could sense that he was worried.

"Yeah, I'm better now." I said and hugged him. We soon started walking to school, once again this morning. Maybe dating C.J won't be so bad.

We were half way there and I sighed. C.J grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers together and brought our hands closer to his face and he kissed my hand. I blushed and just let everything play out like how they should.

"Hey, do you want to come over later?" I asked.

"Yeah that would be nice." He said as we got closer and closer to school.

"Okay, I'll tell Nick when I get home." I said.

"Can I just come home with you?" He asked shyly.

"Yeah, but don't you have football?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I can skip just this one practice. I want to make sure my girl is ok." He said and I blushed. I would've never thought that in a million years I would be dating a popular guy.