Out of My Reach

Chapter 10

The algebra test wasn't that hard, but I'm glad I did study for it or else I probably would've failed it. It sucks that math is so difficult for me, yet I'm in a smart class even though math is hard. I'm not in advanced algebra but I'm in a really smart class. I feel like the dumb dumb sucker mixed in with all the blow pops. Always left out.

"How did you think you did on your test?" C.J asked me and I shrugged.

"I don't know. I did the test so that counts for something." I smiled and then continued. "But I always have bad luck with tests. The only reason why I have good grades is because I do well on the homework. I suck at tests. It's too much pressure."

"Well, hopefully you did well." He said and then went to football practice. I don't know what's up with all of the popular guys playing football, and all the popular girls cheerleading. It's like you have to be a certain 'class' in order to fit in those types of sports.

That's exactly why I'm in band, because I'm an outcast and I enjoy music more than people.

After band I had all of my other classes and then I have lunch, so I walked to lunch with Charlie and Alex this time instead of C.J.

"Is the test hard?" Alex asked me as we sat down in our original spot in the cafeteria.

"Not really, but I studied." I said.

"Okay, then I'm good." She said and sighed with relief. She's like me when it comes to tests. We suck at taking them.

After we got settled in I noticed C.J walking into the cafeteria, he's four minutes late. He's never late.

He looked at me, but then went and sat with all of the football players and cheerleaders. See, I was right. Girls like me don't end up with guys like that. Let alone be friends with them.

He wrapped his arm around the caption of the cheerleading squad, Alexis. She hates on anyone who isn't 'pretty' or most of all 'popular.'

But my question is, what is the definition of pretty? Because my definition is way different from hers, or the actual definition it's self.

My definition of pretty is someone with a kind heart, not the outside looks, but the inside looks. How someone acts and reacts. How someone treats other people. If you treat someone with respect and you're kind and nice to them then you're already pretty in my eyes. But if you are mean and basically, a bully. Then I see you as an ugly person, just because of how you treat other people around you.

It's not fair to be treated like that. That's exactly what Alexis does, she makes other people feel bad just to make herself feel good or pretty, and to me that isn't what you do to make yourself feel good.

"Jenna?" Charlie said, waving her hands in my face, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"You've been staring at C.J and his 'crew' for over five minutes." She said.

"Oh, whoops." I said and then got up to get food. It was pizza, pizza before mashed potato Tuesday. What a tragedy.

I, soon sat back down at my lunch table and started eating my grease filled pizza. I swear school lunch is so unhealthy for you, but I still eat it and love it.

"Do you want to come over Friday and hang out?" I asked Charlie and Alex.

"Sure." They both said and I smiled.

"Sweet." I said and continued eating my lunch in peace, while Charlie and Alex talked. Sometimes I feel like a third wheel, but it's alright because I love keeping to myself sometimes.

After my last two classes of the day we finally went home and C.J walked with me and I was surprised.

"Hey, I'm sorry about lunch. The guys wanted me to sit with them today." He said smiling.

"It's fine, I don't need to know everything. I'm not your girlfriend or anything, so why should I care?" I said and I swore he mumbled something.

"What?" I asked, not sure of what he said.

"How was lunch?" He asked and I told him how it went. I mean it went so that's a start, but it was just like any other day, except I had no one to talk to, but it's fine.

"How was your lunch?" I asked him, not really caring, just asking to be polite, even though a tiny bit of me wanted to know how it went.

"It was good. It was a little hectic, I didn't have you to talk to, but that's alright. I just talked to Alexis, even though I kind of hate her guts." He said and that made me laugh. We both dislike the same person.

I don't say 'hate' because it's a very strong word, just like 'love' is a very strong word as well. Even though people throw those two words around like paper. Those two words have always had an impact on me. I never say the word hate, I say dislike. I never use the word love, unless I truly mean it, and I mean truly. From the bottom of my icy cold heart.

"What?" He said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I swear, I don't know what's happening to me. I'm just zoning out all day.

"Nothing." I said and we slowly approached our destination and we went our separate ways.

"Hey!" Nick greeted me excitedly as I stepped into the house.

"Hi." I said.

"How was school?" He asked.

"It was fine." I said.

"Cool, so listen, I'm moving out in a couple of days." He said.

"Oh..." I trailed off, not wanting to have this conversation. I mean, the thought of having my brother leaving again breaks my heart just as much as the first time he left.

"I know you hate to see me leave, so..." He said, dragging out the 'so.'

"So..?" I questioned.

"I want you to live with Amanda and I." He said and I jumped with excitement.

"No way?" I said, not believing what he just said.

"Yes way, and I already talked to mom and dad and they think it's a great idea." He said and I hugged him.

"Oh my gosh, thank you." I said, my excitement is evident in my voice.

"No problem." He said. "Oh, by the way. We'll be moving the next block over. Close to your friend Charlie." He continued and I was even more excited. I'm going to be living with my brother, close to my best friend and wait, C.J lives like three houses away from Charlie.

"Oh my gosh. I'm going to die." I thought.
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Hey guys, so I know I haven't done much of these authors notes, but I just had to on this one.

This is one of my favorite chapters because you get to see the way Jenna thinks on a personal level. I think that in order to understand a book, you have to understand the characters. So I made sure this one was based off of mainly Jenna's thoughts.

Tell me what you think of the book so far...You loving it?!? I hope so.

Well, have a wonderful day!
-Shelby