Out of My Reach

Chapter 20

The pain you feel is real. You're not asleep but it's a nightmare, but you can wake up anytime. Don't lose your passion or the fighter that's inside of you.

I haven't felt pain in a long time and I enjoy that. James and Alex broke up a few months ago, right around when I 'broke up' with C.J. I was happy for awhile and then I became sad after awhile. There has been a lot of drama between my friends and myself, and I hate drama. It makes me sick.

It's around Christmas now and I like Christmas but I feel like this year is going to be different because I don't have a normal family. I'm not living with my parents because I couldn't take being away from Nick again and my parents are still probably fighting. Everyone else in my family I never see because they don't care. I don't have grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, even parents. I just have my brother and his girlfriend.

"We're not a family, we're a band aid and once you rip it off, all we are to each other is scars." I've been saying this quote for awhile now. I love it because it describes my life perfectly.

"Are you happy that we'll be out of school next week for Christmas break?" Charlie asked Alex, C.J and myself at lunch.

"Yes." We all said at the same time and we all laughed.

"Awesome, so am I." She said and we continued eating and I continued thinking.

You never know what's going to happen in your life, you never think "this could happen to me." You think that you won't get caught or something bad won't happen to you. You think you're invincible.

Truth is, you always end up getting caught, and you aren't invincible. Bad things do happen to everyone. Think about what you've done and if you think "I won't get caught." Or "that won't happen to me." Think again because you're wrong. What you do today can impact your life in six weeks. Everything happens for a reason.

"Hey." C.J said, snapping me out of my thought.

"Hi." I said.

"What's wrong? You seem out of thought today." He said.

"Nothing's wrong, I've just been thinking a lot." I said.

"Oh." He said and stopped talking to me and I continued on with my day.

"Hey." Nick greeted as I walked through the door.

"Hi."

"How was school?" He asked.

"Good, how was your day at work?" I asked. He found a job last week and I'm proud of him. It's a horrible paying job but it's a job. He works at a drive thru. The places you go to, to get cold drinks for a dollar because you don't want to go to the store and pick it up. Yeah he's a drive thru person.

I went downstairs and did my homework and studied for my test. I was studying for a few hours, until my phone went off.

"Hey." James said.

"Hi." I replied back.

"So, can I ask you something?" He asked. I laughed because we aren't having our normal conversation we usually have.

"Sure." I said, curious of the question he was about to ask me.

"Can I be your boyfriend?" He asked and I dropped my phone. I was shocked.

"Did he seriously just ask me this?" I thought to myself, hoping this wasn't some kind of sick joke.

"Yes." I replied and I smiled. I smiled for the first time in a few weeks.

"Yay!" He said and I jumped up and down, excitedly.

Then I thought, "Oh shit, I'm dating James."

"No body can find out about this, ever." I thought to myself as I laid down on my bed, smiling like a fool.