Out of My Reach

Chapter 21

How can you keep something from someone you love? How can you go on day by day knowing what you did or are doing? How can you regret such simple tasks? And how can you be so foolish and naive?

I don't understand how people can go on day by day not realizing the risks and consciousness of anything. Karma will turn around and get you. It will get you hard and you won't be able to stop it when it does. Things that happen are things you deserve because of your actions.

I was sitting in my room thinking, not wanting to get out of bed. When I got a text message.

"Good morning." James said.

"Good morning." I replied back with a smiley face at the end of the sentence.

"How did you sleep?" He asked.

"Good, and you?" I replied.

"Good."

"What's up?" I ask, probably knowing that it's the most stupid question to ask.

"Not much." He said and I smiled.

"Awesome." I said sarcastically but no one really understands sarcasm because he said "not really." I read his message and tossed my phone to the spot next to me and got ready to start my day.

I got dressed in my black skinny jeans and my all time low tee shirt. I did everything I needed to in order for my day to turn out good.

I walked over to Charlie's house and she gave Alex and I a ride to school, since it's winter and it's freezing.

"Three days, eight hours, and a lot of seconds." Alex said as she sat in the front seat of Charlie's car. I sat in the back.

"I know right. It's going to be nice being off from school for two and a half weeks." I said.

"Yeah, we finally get to sleep in." Alex said excitedly as we drove off to school.

Once we arrived I got even more hate for breaking up with C.J.

"Why should it even matter?" I thought. "I'm just trying to be normal."

I got to my locker and rested my head against it as I twisted the lock on my locker.

"What's wrong?" C.J asked as he gave me a hug.

I turned around and looked at him.

"People just suck." I said as I grabbed my books from my locker and placed them in my book bag.

"That's very true." He said and hugged me again. I hugged him back this time, it feels nice knowing you have someone right there who will have your back through thick and thin, and right now it's kinda thick.

I walked to algebra two with C.J and sat down in my normal seat. I looked up at the teacher and noticed that we have a substitute. I don't like substitute teachers because everyone acts stupid and they're more stupid than usual.

At the end of the day I went home and tried to relax. I have the house all to myself for awhile until Nick or Amanda gets home.

I laid on the couch in the living room and watched Netflix until I fell asleep.

"JJ wake up." I heard Nick say as he tried waking me up.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"It's time for dinner." He said and I got out of the couch slowly. I walked into the kitchen and noticed he made chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. I love macaroni and cheese.

I ate the macaroni first and then I realized that he made my favorite meal from when I was little.

"What's this for?" I asked as I set my fork on the plate.

"What's what for?" He asked, playing dumb.

"Why did you make my favorite meal from when we were kids?" I asked.

"You seem down and I feel like this would cheer you up." He said and I looked down at the plate. "So this is a pity dinner." I thought to myself.

"It did. I'm fine." I said with a fake smile and he bought it. Sometimes when I say I'm "ok" or I'm "fine." I want someone to look me in the eyes and say "I know you're not." But that will never happen to me because people buy my little white lies I tell them so they think I'm fine. Truth is I'm dying on the inside.

Nick sat across from me and ate his food he put on his plate.

After I was done I did the dishes and took a shower. I talked to James for awhile and we talked about sweet nothingness, but I liked it. I ended up falling asleep in the middle of our conversation though.