Rainbows After the Rain (Fuck and Forget Series #1)

Prologue

"Bakit ka umalis?"

Sinuklay ko ang buhok patalikod nang marinig ang boses niya sa aking likuran.

"Hindi mo ba nagustuhan 'yong kanta?"

"Maingay sa loob." tipid na sagot ko.

He stood beside me as he leaned his left shoulders on the railings, with his body fully facing me. He was tilting his head to see the buildings and the city lights in front of us.

"Nico..."

My heart made a sudden thump upon hearing that name. The name he made for me...that only he can use as well.

The name I've tried hard to forget. Ang pangalang sinubukan kong ibaon sa nakaraan namin dalawa ngunit hindi ako nagtagumpay.

I looked at him upon hearing that. He was now leaning both of his arms above the railings while also resting his chin above those. He was smiling a little but the reflected sadness in his eyes were so obvious.

"Sayang tayo 'no?"

Mabagal ang pagsasalita niya, may malungkot na ngiti sa mga labi. Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa hawak na bote at napangiti din nang mapait.

"Yeah..."

We were so happy and in love. We were so healthy. But the world ruined us. The world forced us to grow separately. The world took him from me. The people ruined the love I bleed, protecting.

Nilabanan ko ang buong mundo para makasama siya eh. Pero siya, sinakripisyo niya ako para makasama ang buong mundo.

We were up against the whole world and we simply lost. Because we weren't that strong to fight. Hindi namin kinaya dahil hindi namin piniling ilaban. Sinubukan kong ilaban, pero pinili niyang ipatalo. I fought alone. And I lost myself in the process of wanting to fight for him. For us.

And I was so ready to risk all my cards for him. I was so ready to fight against the whole world to be with him. But he choose to sacrifice me...to be with the world... to make his own name.. to chased his dreams... and finally...to be this successful.

Hindi ko alam kung paanong gano'n kadali para sa kaniyang bitawan ako. Nanliit tuloy ako sa sarili ko. Minsan, napapaisip nalang ako.

Bakit kaya hindi niya ako piniling ipaglaban? Bakit hindi niya naisip na madudurog niya ako? Gano'n lang ba siya ka-duwag, o baka hindi niya lang talaga ako gano'n ka mahal?

"What we had was... scary." My voice was almost a whisper. "Because I had it down bad, Kaede. I really... loved you so much to the point that I was so ready to risk everything I have for you..."

And it was so scary. Because I know to myself how willing I was to get down on bended knee and beg him to fucking choose me that time. Handang-handa ako no'n eh. Tangina, iiwan ko lahat kung pinili niya ako.

I chuckled without humor.

"Kung pinili mo lang ako noon, iiwan ko lahat para sa 'yo..."

"Na hindi ko gustong gawin mo." He countered.

Napatingin ako ulit sa kaniya. His brows were furrowing like the idea of risking everything I have for him is something he didn't want me to do.

"Dahil hindi gano'n ang pagmamahal, Nico. Love shouldn't ruin. Love shouldn't be scary. Ang tunay na pagmamahal...hindi ka dapat sinisira. Dapat binubuo ka. Dapat ginagamot ka. It shouldn't hurt. It shouldn't drain you. It should be something beautiful... something inspiring... something mysterious... something worth fighting for..."

Umawang ang labi ko.

"So you're saying that... I wasn't?"

Nanlaki ang mata niya at biglang siyang nataranta. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba mali ang pagkakaintindi ko o dahil iyon ang totoo.