Rainbows After the Rain (Fuck and Forget Series #1)

33.

Ruin

Iritadong-iritado akong tumayo at binuksan ang pinto ng condo ko dahil kanina pa 'yong doorbell nang doorbell! Antok na antok na ako! Gabi na! Sino bang tanga ang dadalaw sa akin nang ganitong oras?!

"Who the hell is-" napatigil ako nang makita si Mommy na nakatayo sa labas ng pinto. Napakunot ang noo ko. Mugto ang mata nito at humahagulhol ng iyak.

"W-where's Killian, Nick?"

Napakurap ako. I rubbed my eyes. Baka kasi... namamalikmata lang ako. Ngunit nasa harap ko talaga ito at umiiyak.

"He's...sleeping." Takang sagot ko. Bakit siya umiiyak? Tsaka anong ginagawa niya rito?

Binuksan ko nang malaki ang pinto para makapasok siya. Oo, galit ako sa kanila. Pero hindi ko kayang paalisin siya at hindi pagbuksan ng pinto sa ganitong sitwasyon. Kahit papaano, malaki parin ang utang na loob ko sa kanila dahil sila ang nagpalaki sa akin.

"What happened?"

"Your Dad...left." Umiwas siya ng tingin at naglakad papunta sa couch.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Left? What kind of left? Left for work? Left for what?

"He left our house. Sumama na siya ro'n sa... babae niya..."

My brows wiggled. "What?"

"Your Dad...has a mistress, Nick..." napahagulhol siya ulit ng iyak. Nanghihinang napaupo siya sa couch at napahilamos ng mukha. "He got her...pregnant..."

What...the...fuck?

"He cheated on me. He always do this behind my back. I knew it from the start... but I stayed and tolerated him. Mahal ko eh. I even did everything he wants! I didn't pursue my career to be model because he wanted me to take medicine! Ginawa ko... kasi mahal ko siya!"

He always...do what?

"Tiniis ko lahat. Tiniis kong...panoorin kang nahihirapan at nasasaktan. Tiniis ko lahat kasi mahal ko siya eh. But I had realizations when you broke down in front of us. Your words knocked some senses on me. Doon ko narealized na ang tanga tanga ko... dahil nagpaalipin ako sa isang walang kwentang lalaking hindi ako kayang mahalin... at dinamay ko pa kayong tatlo..."

Dad always...do that? Dad always...cheats behind her back? And she...endured all of it? All this time... she was also... a victim?

Napayuko ako. But it doesn't mean I'll forgive her just because of that. Our pains are different. Just because her excuses are valid doesn't mean her actions are right. Just because she's also a victim... doesn't mean it already justified her sins.

"I'm sorry..." her voice shaken. Napatingin ako ulit sa kaniya. "I'm sorry, Nick. I was selfish. Hinayaan ko kayong masaktan kasi akala ko magiging masaya ako. And now my actions has backfired against me. Your Dad fired me in the hospital. Pinalayas niya rin ako sa bahay. And he wanted me to sign the divorce papers he prepared for us..."

Nakasalubong ang kilay ko. "Pinirmahan mo?"

She nodded and smiled weakly. Her eyes looked so tired and restless. And to ignore everything her husband did, to act like you're okay with the things that seeing it kills you deep inside... she must've been through a lot.

Bumuntong-hininga siya.

"Wala naman akong magagawa pa, Nick. Pinirmihan ko na...para matahimik narin ang konsensya ko. Because when I went to Killian's room, I just realized how much time I wasted to be a puppet of an asshole than be a mother to my three kids..."

Three kids... Napaawang ang labi ko at napatulala nalang bigla sa couch. My mind went blank when I stared at her. I wanted to get mad at her. I want to shout at her. Lahat ng hinanakit ko sa kanilang dalawa ng asawa niya, gusto kong ilabas. Because my memories as a child is still vivid in my memory. Hindi na nga siguro mawawala pa iyon.