Save Me..

Concern

Dev's POV

"Hello, beta?"

Her voice alone soothed almost every bit of tension from my mind, calming every nerve of my body. I exhaled deep and smiled, feeling so happy about Vani interrupting me from dying.

"Yes maa, why are you awake this late?"

"I was working on this blouse, and decided to take a break. Then I saw your missed call, I thought you'd be awake. Is something wrong?"

My mother, 49 years old. She works as a housewife and also works on female wears, boutique I guess. She works mainly on saree, blouse and rest of female wears. Many things. Her life is without a doubt a heavy duty one. Waking up at 5, then waking my dad up at 5:30, then working the house chores. Also making sure to complete her customers' orders on time. She's one of a kind and I love and respect her.

If you love her then why did you want to die?

My conscience hit me again. I am so ashamed of my actions but.. sometimes things seem so out of hand, like the one twig you're trying to hold while drowning, keeps slipping and you lose your hope slowly.

"Hello?"

"Yes, yes maa!"

"What happened beta?"

"Nothing maa, I called to tell you that I'm sending money again soon, so keep the bank message on check."

One good thing about my mother is, she trusts me. And she trusts that I am a happy and satisfied person. I would love to trust that about myself as well but, feels like I just.. can't. Because I know who I am, despite putting on the smiling face. I do go through bad times as well. Thankfully, meeting Vani and till then, things went ok and I had time to think how to make up another lie to not tell her that her precious son was gonna cross the bridge to Neverland.

"Oh, ok ok. Did you talk to dad?"

"Yes, I talked to him when he called me. He was closing the shop."

My dad, 57 years old, still working. We have a business at home, and things go not too bad. We get everything a family needs to survive, we eat enough, sleep enough, have enough comfort in our two storeyed building.
Both my parents love me and my sister a lot. Never once we have to ask for something twice. If it's in their capability, they'll do it for us. Sometimes even before asking!

"Ah, you know what happened? Today I talked to your aunt and she said your cousin has found a boyfriend!" Her voice reflected a lot of excitement. She always found joy in everyone's happy news, and I loved this about her. Never did she feel jealous about anyone else, all she says is, we are happy and that matters. Money doesn't but peace of mind, my mother believes that and has made me believe it too, and why not? She's not lying either.

"Oh really? What else?"

"She said the guy is South Indian. She's so concerned, what if he doesn't like rice and fish?!"

"Come on maa.." I laughed a bit. There were bigger concerns than that. What if he doesn't eat Bengali dishes is the least bit of concern we could think of. But yeah, what can be said.

My cousins were girls, from mother side. All of them. Except the last devil we don't speak of as our gang member yet, he's too young for the shit we discuss.

"Arre! What if he doesn't eat those? What will we do? Sonai can't be there while eating only idli and dosa! She needs fish too and what if he-"

"Are you sure he doesn't eat fish?" I interrupt her, seemingly her concern about fish that my masi put into her head was too much. And she needed to vent somewhere, but I know better ways. Just end the concern from the roots.