My heart hammers hard in my chest as I wait for Travis to reply to my request.
I don't know why I asked him, call it the alcohol or the heat of the moment or the feeling of his body pressed up against mine.
Maybe it was the threat that I was about to lose him to a blond that was pushing her boobs in his face, boobs that I don't have but whatever it was, it was a moment of bravery that could quickly be turning into a moment of stupidity and I am struggling to breath as the wait stretches on
"I don't think he would appreciate seeing that right now, do you?" Travis asks, keeping his hands on my hips and using his head to motion towards Nesto.
I look across at him and he's gripping the bar stool as though he's trying to stop himself jumping up, his face is red but it is hot in here
"Then take me somewhere" I blurt out, apparently not willing to back down or take Travis' offer of an easy way out
"Taylor..." his eyes dart between me and Nesto a couple of times "The guy likes you, like genuinely has feelings for you I can see it on his face when he's watching you and believe me he's always watching you"
"And what about you? What am I to you? Just a game? Someone to tease and use to make yourself feel superior or someone you want to know?" I don't know where the courage to force these words out is coming from, but I keep my arms around his neck and try to maintain eye contact when every part of my being is telling me to look away, to move away, to run away from him but he readjusts his grip on my waist as I see his Adam's apple moving up and down in his throat, his jaw muscles bunching and then unbunching as he seems to ponder my question for an eternity before finally looking at me as though he's about to speak
"Taylor!"
Somehow without me noticing, Nesto has moved from the bar stool and is standing beside Travis and I and i finally let my grip on him slip in surprise. Travis keeps one arm around my waist and pulls me to him so we're standing side by side, Nesto looking at the contact and frowning
"Taylor, it's time to go" he informs me and I look to Travis who is staring intently at Nesto but saying nothing "Your dad will know you haven't been at the studio if you turn up late, stinking of alcohol and... men"
"I only had one beer and one rum" I try to argue but he reaches for my hand and pulls me gently with him, an action that causes Travis to release his grip on me, and I feel my heart drop as I realise he's giving me to Nesto, he's declining my request and in doing so he's answering the question of what I am to him and that's nothing... I'm nothing to him at all
Nesto and I walk silently through the club, his hand never leaving mine but he doesn't look at me, we just zigzag through the sea of people in silence and I once again feel the oh so familiar sting of tears
"Taylor!" A hand lands firmly on my shoulder and turns in the opposite direction to I was just headed and the sudden movement jerks my hand from Nestos.
"Travis!" I gasp as his green eyes burn into mine, his hand slipping from my shoulder to my palm and then interlacing our fingers
"She's leaving" barks Nesto in a tone I have never heard him use before and it's so cold, so authoritarian that it makes my over active heart momentarily pause in my chest
"Yeah" Travis agrees "With me" and without another word he pulls me with him in the direction of the exit
"Taylor get back here!"
Nesto shouts as he rushes towards us and I see Travis pull up the hoody that he's wearing below his denim jacket, in preparation of leaving.
There's no paparazzi outside, we had been assured of that but that's not to say fans haven't gathered if they found out we were here
"Taylor this deal with your dad only stands if you are with me!"
"Well she's coming with me. She'll message you where and when to pick her up, consider yourself on a break"
********************
"I can't believe I ditched Nesto" I sit on Travis' sofa and nervously tap my foot.
In the heat of a club with some alcohol in my system and Travis' arms around my waist the request for him to kiss me had slipped out so easily, but here in his apartment, even though he's dimmed the lights and is now pouring two glasses of wine I find my heart pounding, my palms sweating and an icy fear beginning to seep in
This is Travis Kelce
Lead singer of Particular Taste, the global superstars of rock.
He's been photographed with so many beautiful women and probably had so many more than that in his bed and here I am.
Taylor Swift... 19 year old virgin and I'm asking him to kiss me. How pathetic I must have sounded??
"Here" Travis slips a glass of red wine into my hand before taking the seat next to me "It's just a small one"
I know what he's saying, he doesn't want me impaired, he wants to know I'm in a place to change my mind if I want to...
Do I want to?!
I don't know. I don't want to mess this up and humiliate myself or maybe he'll change his mind and humiliate me that way instead
"What are you thinking?" He asks softly as he places his glass onto the glass coffee table and takes my hand in his "You're shaking. Am I really that scary?"
I take a gulp of the thick, warm liquid and then set my glass down next to his
"No... I mean yes and no" He chuckles a little but doesn't release my hand "Do you think I'm pathetic for asking you to kiss me?"
"No. I think it was pretty brave but I think we both know that it's been coming, whether it was tonight or another night, I was always going to kiss you Taylor" he lifts his other hand to my cheek "I knew from the first time we met at the Ellen Show I was going to have to know how you tasted"
Just when I thought it wasn't possible for my heart to beat any faster it finds a new gear and pounds so hard in my throat I'm afraid I'm going to choke.
Travis' words... the look in his eyes, the way his thumb is gently caressing my cheek has my body feeling as though it's under some form of attack.
I have never felt so many different things all at one time, and I'm beginning to feel as though it's all becoming too much.
My body trembles and burns as my heart pounds and my mind buzzes, it's as though every sense is hyper alert and I have never experienced anything like it before in my life, it's both exhilarating and terrifying, both too much and nowhere near enough and my brain can't make sense of any of it
Travis tilts his head to the side and just gazes at me, his hair flopping across his forehead the way it's renowned for
"You're beautiful, do you know that?"
I don't have the capability to reply even if I wanted to and I think he recognises that as he moves both hands to cup my face, he moves an inch closer, his eyes never leaving mine and I wonder what the hell he's feeling because he's acting so cool and In control when I'm basically falling to pieces beneath his touch.
His eyes closing is my first sign that this is happening, that I'm about to get what I asked for and I begin to panic that it's going to be too much for me to stand, I manage to draw in a quick breath before his lips touch mine, softly, gently, his skin warm and moist against me and as he pushes his mouth to mine more firmly sparks of a million different colours explode inside my mind
This is it... this is what he told me about, this is my mind catching fire
He changes the angle and uses his lips to encourage me to open mine, his tongue immediately brushing against my own and everything south of my naval clenches and then floods with heat
'If I kissed you now would you say no and go running back to him or would you let your body and mind catch fire the way you know it's going to?'
This is happening exactly as he said it would and as I push my hands into his hair, unable to think about anything other than having him as close to me as possible, I let my mind be consumed by his taste as I enjoy the feeling of my mind and body both burning out of control for him
