Achromatic Adventure

Traitor

I slammed Nash's door behind me, my hand practically vibrating as I held the stupid doorknob in my hands.

What in the actual hell were they thinking!?

"Lil, are you okay?" Turstin was behind me, his eyes boring into my back.

"Does it—by any stretch of the imagination—look like I'm okay?" I tried to growl, but it was definitely more of gasp as I struggled to breathe.

Oh my God. How am I supposed to tell Seren!?

My heart started pounding, but my chest tightened in response, almost like it was trying to crush it. I grabbed the front of my shirt without thinking, trying fruitlessly to give my heart more room, but I could feel Turstin inching closer and closer, which was making it worse.

"I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong," he said. He was trying to be comforting, but it was honestly just grating.

"What is it that you want me to say?" I snapped, trying to breathe but failing. "You were just in that room with me! You saw everything too, didn't you? Or did you miss that disgusting pig skewering the cheating bitch?"

He didn't say anything, so I glanced at him. The dumbfounded look on his face pulled me down just enough for me to bite the inside of my lip—not hard enough to draw blood but enough to ease the knot in my chest.

It's okay. I'm okay. This isn't Turstin's fault. It's okay. Just breathe, Lily. In and out, bitch. You can do this. Just inhale.

I managed a shaky breath in and held it. When the sound of my heart in my ears softened, I breathed out at the same time I let go of the door handle, but my fingers were still stiff from holding it too tightly for so long. I still had the terrible floating feeling, like my feet weren't quite touching the ground, but I managed to head towards Turstin's car.

Before I could fully process what was happening, Turstin had his arms around me. The fabric of his shirt was almost painful as he adjusted his arms so they were wrapped more around my stomach instead of my chest, situating us so that most of my back was against his chest. Despite the fact that I could clearly see his arms pressed against me, I could barely feel the weight of them, almost like they weren't even touching me, and that's when I realized I was so hot that the burning in my eyes almost felt cold.

"Everything will be okay, Lil. I'm right here," he says softly.

Something in me snapped, and biting tears started falling, cooling my face down. Everything was so intense yet so muted all at once. I knew where I was and what was happening, but I felt misplaced somehow.

"Seren." I whimpered. "She doesn't just let anyone in. She let them in. I-I don't understand this. I don't understand them."

"All we have to do is get to your place and tell her what happened. If you want to take it further and report Nash, we will. I'll help you. But we have to take this one step at a time."

"I don't know how to do that right now."

Turstin sighed and put his head on my shoulder. "Then let's take the first step and go from there."

I turned around to face him, tears streaming down my face. God, I would give anything for a fast forward button.

Turstin placed his hand on my chest, his eyes widened as he felt my heart attempting to break open my chest. "We can park somewhere and take a breather first." He nodded his head, aiming for reassurance but ending somewhere closer to pity, he walked over to my car door and held it open for me, motioning for me to get in.

I nodded and took a deep breath before collapsing into my seat. As I put on my seatbelt and adjusted myself for the drive, I couldn't stop picturing Seren's face when I tell her what happened. I can only imagine the amount of hurt that she's gonna have to go through. It's disgusting that someone can come into your life and exceed every single expectation that you've set for a prospective partner—until all of the smoke clears and it turns out they were just waiting for the right moment to tear you down. Which is absolutely stupid, because how could you be willing to lose something so perfect for something so defective?